This dad has it all figured out in a tongue-in-cheek essay where he lays out the secret to child discipline.
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PARENTS! (Yes, I am YELLING at YOU!) Parenthood is easy.
The nuts and bolts of parenting are simple. Below are the rules to avoid raising an emperor who ruins your life and annoys me at Starbucks. Get these basics down, and then you can deal with what makes parenthood enjoyable (as opposed to barely tolerable.)
- FOLLOW THROUGH (I had to yell this one.)
If you say, “Timmy, don’t do X, or we will have to do Y” you best be ready to follow through with play Y.
IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH PLAN Y, YOU’RE SETTING YOURSELF UP TO BECOME A HUMAN TREADMILL FOR A TYRANT.
It drives me nuts to hear open threats in public.
“If you don’t stop throwing truffle cavatelli, Bunky, you won’t get to watch Real Housewives, on my iPhone.” (And two seconds later, Bunky is watching the iPhone. Because the parents gave up.)
“Don’t puncture the heirloom tomatoes, Bordeaux, or you won’t get an heirloom cookie.” (And two stalls later at the farmer’s market, mischievous Bordeaux sports gluten-full crumbs all over his cashmere jumper. Because the parents gave up!)
PARENTS! (yelling again) YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH!
Showing your kids you mean what you say will give them limits, make them respect your word, and stop them from acting out (too much) in the future.
The ONE time you yank your horrendous progeny from library story-time draws the line.
The ONE time you leave a restaurant without receiving your mozzarella sticks gains you respect.
The ONE time you send your kid to bed hungry because they refused to eat Shake’n Bake and only wanted cookies gives you more time to watch Real Housewives and drink wine.
Um, I mean teaches important lessons.
Prepare yourself to:
Leave the full grocery cart in the middle aisle.
Get your wine in a to-go cup.
Turn the car around.
Saw the wheels off the Thomas train.
Get off at the next bus stop. (There’ll be another.)
Waste the money you spent getting into the puppet show to save your sanity down the line.
DRAG A TANTRUMING (tantrumming?) CHILD DOWN THE STREET. (It’s OK. You’re the boss.)
FOLLOW THROUGH! (stop yelling)
Usually you just need to step out of the library/restaurant/poetry-slam for five minutes to change their behavior.
And you can’t seriously be afraid that childish protests in public are worse than showing who is boss. If they sense you’re embarrassed because you’re in public, your kid will STEAMROLL OVER YOU. (the yelling)
They’ve got to learn there are consequences to bad choices. And parents teach consequences, prepping kids for good future behavior.
You might feel bad in the short-term. But PARENTHOOD AIN’T A SPRINT, IT’S A MARATHON! (no more yelling)
And they might say “I hate you.” Fine. You can just respond, “That’s OK. I love you. Now we’re going home because you spit on the banquette, threw a book at your brother, and stuck a french fry in that Dowager Countess’ hairdo.”
Oh. And the other two rules?
- See above.
- See above.
I wrote “3 Rules” because “1 Rule” needed follow through.
That’s how it works.
Originally appeared on Daddy Coping in Style.
Wow…follow through? Sorry, but that is not the sole key to parenting. I was hoping I was going to actually get some good insight based on the title of this article…instead: notsomuch.com
My wife and I follow through 100% of the time…still have plenty of behavior issues.
THANK YOU!! ( sorry about the yelling). As someone who has worked in hospitality fooorrrreverrr, I can truly appreciate the folk who set sound limits for their child because said child then LISTENS in a public place. This may seen an unqualified stance, but believe me, I see the difference. I am aunt to many and the wee ones listen to me where they don’t to others because THEY KNOW I MEAN IT. What’s also awesome is that they love me for it – they know where they stand. It’s not all shits and gigs, but the point gets through.… Read more »
YES! This was a huge pet peeve of mine with my ex… he would threaten and never follow through. And yet he wondered why the kids listened to me when I told them to do something, but didn’t listen to him. If you say what you mean and mean what you say, they WILL learn respect and limits.