Dad Attitude: Our Inner Worlds
I’ve spent my fair share criticizing my own father, mostly from afar and after-the-fact. And yes, here in this column. Some of it has been therapeutic. I’ve long-since acknowledged there are plenty of unresolved issues between us, some of which we may never bury, and I’m okay with that.
I’m also okay with apologizing for all I’ve done to create the awkward relationship, or lack thereof, we’re in. And I’m okay with looking back on the good times, which there were plenty of, too. So, if you read this, Dad: thank you. Thank you all those things you did for me. Combing my hair in the morning. Making my breakfast. Bringing me to school. Taking us on hikes. Providing for us. Thank you. I really mean that.
And thank you to all the fathers out there that do their jobs as dads. Here’s a few I’d like to thank personally, should you ever read this.
To the man I see when I park my car at Vons grocery store to do the weekly shopping. We seem to have synchronized our visits, going to the store every Sunday between 2 and 4 pm. We park on the far side of the lot, opposite the main entrance. I gather my shopping bags, and you open the hatchback of your van and take out the wheelchair. You expand it, and roll it over to the passenger seat where your son waits. You open his door, lift him up out of the seat, and set him down in his wheelchair. Thank you for that. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to your son.
Thank you to another man I see in the same grocery store parking lot with his wife and infant child. You load your shopping into the trunk and you secure your baby into the car seat. Your wife takes a seat in the back next to the baby. Then you light your cigarette and pace around your car, checking your phone. Thank you for not smoking inside with your baby. I imagine you know your habit isn’t good for anyone, especially your baby, and maybe your wife asks you to smoke outside at home, too. Maybe you’re trying to quit. Maybe not. Either way, thank you.
And thank you to my friend of long ago. We were drinking buddies back in the day, when none of us guys were married. You were a stand-up guy back then, and I was happy to find you again on social media. You haven’t changed much, except that now you’re a father. Your son is about my eldest son’s age. What’s evident in your posts is that you’re doing it alone. Your hashtags say it all. I’m not going to speculate how or why you’re a single father. I’m just going to thank you for doing what you’re doing. It looks like you’re having a great time, and it’s clear to see you’re good at it.
Dads: let’s take the time to thank each other. If not in our words, then in our thoughts. Send the guy over there dadding so hard a silent high five. He needs it. And so do you.
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Photo: Roman Iegoshyn