Michael Ellis asked his friend to share the backstory father and son photo that conveyed a powerful mix of frustration, composure, vulnerability and strength.
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A friend recently posted this photograph of himself and his son sharing a moment after a football game. It hit me deep in the chest and took my breath away as it conveyed a powerful, swirling mix of frustration, composure, vulnerability and strength.
It captures the relationship between father and son beautifully. I asked my friend (the dad), Morgan to share the backstory and his experience. Below, he explains.
“Oscar had played an awesome game and scored the only two goals to win but was still upset at the poor performance of the other team. He felt they should’ve been fouled more than a few times.
He didn’t let it affect his game and held onto his frustration until after the game. This is when that photo was taken.
I do remember being unsure about what to do. I was taken by surprise. At first I simply couldn’t understand why he wasn’t happy with himself and the game he played. I think he was, but it really got to him that the other team didn’t play fair and singled him out.
I tried to help him understand that this is exactly why he was the better player. I am pretty strict about playing a fair game and I wouldn’t let Oscar play anything less.
I know it can be hard when others just don’t want to play that way. I wanted to stick up for my boy the way I wanted my dad to stick up for me as a boy.
But I didn’t. At least not by telling off someone else’s dad or the coaches.
I felt like a dad in that picture. His dad.
I felt the challenge of responsibility. It scared me but at the same time I felt the acceptance of that challenge with my whole heart. I love him so much. I want to protect him, but the truth is that sometimes I am going to have to let him get hurt so that he can grow.”
Morgan finished by saying “thanks for asking me to explore these feelings.”
Morgan, thank YOU for sharing these feelings and more importantly, for embracing uncertainty and vulnerability, demonstrating courage and conviction as you deal with the challenge of raising your son. Oscar is a fortunate son for having you as his dad.
Oscar and Morgan are both lucky! I also recently went through this with my 10 year old after a particularly rough game where it was obvious that the other coaches had screamed their way into teaching their kids to play dirty. My son was even more upset than Oscar and we had a long talk about the difference between playing hard and playing fair. Thankfully the coaches for my sons team have never stooped to this level and they have in fact won their league one time so it’s proof that you don’t need to cheat to win. My son… Read more »
Love this so, so much. Thank you for sharing the photo and your experience as a father during a salient moment with your son.