Lonely Kings?
Fun fact: I was in a fraternity in college.
But not your carbon-copy blond crewcut, polo shirt-wearing, white boy, put roofies in girls’ drinks and haze with alcohol FRAT.
No, we were a mix of races and ethnicities. Some of us came from wealth, most of us came from nothing. We had Mexicans, Blacks, Asians, Caucasians, and Indians. We were quite studious, and we also drank profusely and smoked a lot of marijuana. We didn’t even have a Greek-lettered name.
That’s how distinctive we were.
Many of those guys are still my best friends. Though we all live in different cities now and have careers and wives and children, we are all a text or phone call or social media post away.
They are my boys, and always will be.
In college, having a crew meant security. Strength. Solidarity. It meant having an array of friends who had your back no matter what.
Fast forward twenty-some years and now we’re the kings of our own castles. We’re the owners of our own islands. And isn’t that what we always wanted? Isn’t that what we strived for all those years?
What’s missing from this new life is the posse. The gang. The band of brothers. At least that’s how it is for me. And the pandemic has only made it worse.
Rounding up one, let alone two or three friends, has been a Herculean task. I can FaceTime with my bros in Texas or Mexico City or Chicago, but it’s not the same as having beers with a bro right next to me.
And we have responsibilities. We have pancake breakfasts to make, school drop offs, work meetings in Palm Springs, date nights, and garages to organize. We can’t just go off and drink with the boys anymore.
Well, we can, but maybe in a more figurative way. We can and should still build our network of men. Maybe they’re in our current towns and are desperate house husbands just like you. Maybe they’re a co-worker with whom you jive. Maybe it’s literally that dude with whom you think you could be buddies.
Those guys are the recruits for the new fraternity. Those just might be the guys I would pledge (part?) or my life to at this stage of my life. Chances are they need it too. Chances are they need to check into the Animal House once in a while, or need a road trip, or just need to visit in the driveway while the chaos of their new lives unfolds around them.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Unsplash