My friend Steve Olsher talks about what he calls “YaNo Moments”. YaNo moments are those times when we make decisions that affect the outcomes to our lives. If you say YES to an ice cream cone and NO to an apple, you are making a decision that affects your life. Sometimes though, it is not those decisions about what you DO or DO NOT DO that have the greatest impact on your outcomes. Sometimes it is how you CHOOSE to think about things that can be truly life changing.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I was born wearing a set of mouse ears and that Walt Disney is one of my most revered heroes. Consequently, I was thrilled to be able to put together an early May Walt Disney World vacation for my family.
I live in the tundra of northern Wisconsin, so I was delighted to be able to make several late night rendezvous with the outdoor hot tub. One fateful night, I was reminded that not everyone chooses to view the Disney Magic in the way that I do.
“I hate this place!!” the lone gentleman in the pool blurted out as I was taking off my shoes. He was an average looking fellow who appeared to be in his mid fifties. The expression on his face did, in fact, display a look of GENUINE HATRED.
I wish I could say I was surprised by his attitude, but he is certainly not alone in his assessment of Walt’s dream. I did not say anything to him, I simply cocked my head the way our Bassett Hound (Belle) does when you say something she doesn’t quite understand.
“IT’S TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE. THEY ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF CROOKS AROUND HERE!” he stated in a manner closely resembling road rage. I was not impressed or amused with his intrusion on my vacation, but I recognized the paradigm he was stuck in, and I used my YaNo moment to help him as best I could.
“That’s one way to look at it.” I began. After a dramatic pause I continued with a sly smile: “Of course, if you continue to do that, you’ve gone ahead and invested several thousand dollars into ruining your family vacation and in teaching your family that money trumps your love for them.” I must admit the next several minutes of eery silence WAS rather uncomfortable.
“You think I love money more than my kids?” he finally squeaked out.
“Who cares what I think? But, if you think THEY aren’t aware of what YOU THINK this trip is costing you, then you need to wake up and realize what this trip is REALLY costing you!” I paused a moment or two and then added: “But, you could always choose to change your attitude and turn things around and make this your best vacation ever.”
“But, haven’t you seen what they get for a hamburger?” he weakly asked still struggling with the original issue.
“Money is only something you need if you don’t die tomorrow.” I responded confidently. “Of course it was easier when we were kids, and our fathers paid for and orchestrated everything, but I’ll tell you my friend, you are missing out on an AMAZING opportunity to be a hero, and on an EVEN GREATER opportunity to practice gratitude for how lucky you are to be alive, let alone in this magical place.”
“Now you want me to pay these prices and be happy about it?”
“I don’t care what you do! I don’t even know you. But, I’ll tell you this, some guy woke up this morning in Bangladesh wishing he could provide his family with a glass of water. It strikes me as sad that you have provided your family with all of this (I said as I put my arms in the air to demonstrate the majesty surrounding us) and that you are missing out on the spender and brilliance that is all around you. Let me ask you something, what do you want your family to be able to say about this vacation when it’s over?”
“That it was the greatest vacation ever….” he weakly forced out and then finished with “I guess I have a lot of work to do…”
“That kind of work never ends brother.” I said trying to console him a little. “It’s so easy to take our eyes off of the big picture when life gets in the way, but how we choose to think about everything that happens as we move down life’s path is truly up to us. We have to be very careful not to miss out on the important stuff while we try to figure it all out.”
He thanked me as he moved away, and I spent the next several minutes being grateful for the warm water that soothed my tired legs. I had walked what felt like a hundred miles earlier that day noticing all of the people who were thankful to be able to experience the magic of Disney because of the availability of wheelchairs and electric carts.
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—Photo Credit: Flickr/Steve Jurvetson