A month in, and this dad shares some great “aha” moments!
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It’s been a little over a month since I’ve become the SAHD and I’m surprised how much I’ve learned so far. Here’s a short list I have to imagine will only be growing as time goes on…
-I’ve learned there’s no toy cooler than the box it came in…I’m better off bringing him to the UPS store instead of Toys-R-Us.
-I’ve learned that I shouldn’t fill stroller tires with the industrial air hose at the gas station…they tend to pop at inconvenient times…like in an elevator full of unsuspecting neighbors.
-I’ve learned to check the weather forecast way in advance. Ever see “I Am Legend”? That’s what a rainy day is like in a small apartment and Pandora’s Elmo station.
-I’ve learned no matter how many cool sippy cups you buy, nothing is cooler than whatever I’m drinking out of at that very moment.
-I’ve learned that my kid will only drink his milk out of a traditional bottle while strapped into a stroller or car seat…period. Yeah, I got nothing. Even our Pediatrician looked at me like I had two heads when I asked her about it.
-I’ve learned a pint glass is only truly clean when the beer foam sticks to the side of the glass as you drink it. Why do I know this? Because “Bar Rescue” is on all goddamn day.
-I’ve learned I was a ninja in a past life….I’m real quiet when moving around the house cause I’ll be damned if I’m the one waking him up early from a nap.
-I’ve learned that Caribbean nannies know EVERYTHING. Seriously, they’re like female Yodas with cooler accents. Big ups to Beverly, Marvit & Santana.
-I’ve learned changing a diaper & yelling “the more you fight me, the longer this takes” might sound odd to our neighbors in the hall.
-I’ve learned patience. This one is tough because I’m notoriously impatient. Impatience is damn near a performance art for me. Being in the Mid-West definitely dulled me down & I was nervous being back in NY was going to awaken the dormant impatient beast lurking below the surface. That hasn’t been the case though. The reason? My son is a Tazmanian Devil of impatience. And this isn’t a proud “chip off the old block” moment for me, it’s terrifying when he wants a banana NOW.
-I’ve learned that a banana goes a long way
-I’ve learned the simple act of pointing a Dirt Devil in his direction & turning it on is a surprisingly effective way of chilling him out
-I’ve learned how vain my child is. Seriously, the only people who love photos & videos of themselves more are named “Kardashian”
-I’ve learned when there’s only 2 pairs of my underwear in the weekly laundry, I should remember to shower more. #Grimy
-I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how long I take organizing his book shelf, that shit’s flying off the shelves no matter what.
-I’ve learned to stretch in the morning before picking up a 30 lb child approximately 738 times a day.
-I’ve learned the simple act of a smile and “Hi Da-Da” will turn me into a puddle & get me to do anything. It would be weird if he’s still doing that as a teenager but I’m sure he’ll know a new, fun way to psychologically manipulate me by then.
Photo: Flickr/mckinney75402