I will try to offer a brief answer to your question, what marriage means to me, in the most effective way I know how. I have no preconceived notions that you will agree nor do I have the desire to gain your approval in the matter, but in the hopes that it may translate into an utterance of support or joy from you toward our marriage, I will try.
Marriage, to me, goes far beyond the physical location of where one lays one’s head and has a far deeper significance than if one has had intercourse or not.
If this is your definition of marriage, and therefore why you believe that “nothing will change” after our beautiful day, then you are correct, we are in misalignment.
Although I am not ignorant enough to think my beliefs are the “right” or “correct” ones, here are some of my thoughts on what marriage means to me:
A deep, soulful, and intimate love between two humans that conquers all
Two complete people, that when joined, become stronger than their individual parts
A dedication to not only stand beside one another but also a dedication to venture further and deeper into the caverns of our beings.
A tree. A family. A legacy. That stretches beyond the legal institution and into the spiritual one
Create a life of meaning, love and fulfillment together. Create children. Create experience. Create beauty. Create love.
The conscious decision that we no longer are the sole proprietor of our days. We fold to the needs of the other. We become mindful of our surroundings. We realize the oneness we share.
To reach far beyond the limits of our individual lives into a world of possibility and spontaneity, together
Them before me. They take precedence over my needs and desires.
A relationship that, like the world, is ever changing and evolving. Some things must die for others to prosper. No single ideal or perspective is unchanged. We open up to the dynamic beauty of the world around us.
As mentioned above, this is an evolving list of some of the broader topics I have highlighted to be monumental to a life well spent together. They may all change, but our goal remains the same.
To live a life fiercely and fully engaged with each other in the hopes of creating a legacy that stretches far beyond ourselves. To love and be loved. To help and ask for help. To create and fail and try again.
It will be messy. It will be tough. But it will be worth it. It’s the single greatest ride one can take and I am so glad I can take it with the one I love, my best friend, and my soul mate.
This is not meant as a declaration of ideology or as a justification of our life. It is merely a snapshot of our ethos; a manifesto of what we plan to create with one another.
A ring is just a ring. A ceremony is just a ceremony.
Whether you are “pure” or not. Whether you believe in Jesus or the Buddha. The difference lies within one’s soul. It lies within the commitment to no longer go on living as separate but as one.
In oneness we will cry, succeed, fight, laugh, and love. But we will do it together. And that is what marriage is…to us.
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