A New Color All Together
What’s the most powerful word in the English language? In any language?
Some might say “yes,” others would say “no,” while others would say it’s “please.”
I would say it’s “and.”
Lately, I’ve been struggling with the way things are and the way things ought to be. I tend to be vexed about what I have and what I want. I’m often trapped between reality and fantasy.
If you’re like me, how do you shake this in-betweeness of life?
I’ve learned that by valuing what’s in front of you, AND working toward or pushing away from something is perfectly normal. It’s okay to feel one way, AND think another. It’s just fine to feel out-of-sorts AND be inspired by something totally different.
I’m learning to let go of the notion that things have to be a certain way. We men tend to do this—we tend to be of a one-track mind, and when things don’t go to plan, we get derailed.
It’s okay to get derailed AND get back on track, or even better, find a new mode of transportation.
Do you see the pattern here?
A key example of the Marvelous And is communicating with your children. I have two that are so headstrong, that simply asking them to pick up their socks drives me bonkers. What begins as a kind request escalates into threats.
“I know you don’t want to pick up your socks—it’s definitely easier to just leave them there, and it’s important to keep our house clean, so please put them in your laundry basket.”
I’ve been using AND all over the place. Work, relationships, family.
When people start to understand that two things can co-exist—that gray is the new blank AND white—it relaxes your brain. It gives it a rest.
And the in-between feeling is, in fact, not so much gray as it is a new color all together. It’s something like green, or pink, or maybe orange. It’s something unexpected and very healthy.
Try it sometime. It’ll surprise them, and you.
This Post is republished on Medium
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