Ordinary and Extraordinary
Jane Austen’s classic novel Pride and Prejudice begins with, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Okay, I see her point.
Now, let’s bring this up to code for today’s man.
Let’s say man is married, has a modest fortune, and 2.5 kids. Check, check, check.
So what could he possibly be in want of? A date night with his wife? Maybe an hour or so to work out? A guys weekend? Or how about a few moments to himself that don’t involve work or domestic duties? Maybe something super “simple” like having his kids actually listen.
All of these wants are within reach, yet how do we get them, and get them consistently throughout the course of our lives? By giving. That’s all we have to do. Give to get. Why is this so hard for men? Because we’re used to getting. Everything. We. Want.
I recently took a guy’s trip to Mexico City. Each of us rehashed how exactly we received authorization to leave the country for a long weekend. Everyone said it took months of spousal negotiations, a tallying up of credits earned throughout the year. Two common threads emerged: we boys had earned it by giving to our wives and families in both ordinary and extraordinary ways pre, during, and post trip. The other thread: every wife, in one way or another, sent their man south of the border with a kind but stern, “Don’t do anything stupid,” blessing.
Trust issues aside, to get is to give. With everything. When the tank is low, fill it up. When the fridge is empty, go buy groceries. When moods are zapped, plug in the charger. Do we need any more reminders? Yes, this is perhaps the new universal truth: to satisfy his wants, a man must be in possession of a self-generated good fortune he is willing to spend limitlessly on those he loves.
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Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash