Newly separated, Ben Railton is beginning to realize that cooking for himself can be just as meaningful as cooking for his entire family.
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I’ve always loved cooking. When my college girlfriend and I started dating, for a couple of our early dates, I prepared the first meals I had learned to cook. As we later moved into our engagement and then marriage, and as she worked through med school, residency, fellowship, and beyond, I prepared something like 95% of the meals we ate together. When the boys entered the picture, they were (and to a degree remain) a bit too picky for me to do a ton of cooking, but that has made it all the more satisfying when I find a dish that they do really love and ask for (the current favorite is my crockpot chili). To be clear, none of this is fancy or hugely complicated; but I do love cooking for the people in my life.
That’s been the key, though—cooking for others, getting to see someone I care about enjoy the fruits (or vegetables, or meats) of my labors. When it was just me (during my early grad school years when I was living by myself, for example), I was much more likely to go for microwave dinners than anything I had to prepare. And since the separation 18 months ago, I’ve returned to that duality—trying to prepare something when I have the boys with me (and not always crockpot chili, although there’s been plenty of that), happy to settle for a microwave dinner when I’m solo. They’re quick, they’re easy, they do a decent job offering all the food groups—and, yeah, they seem to fit for the solo bachelor life.
Recently, encouraged by the concern of a lot of people who care about me, I’ve started to try to get healthier. Getting to the gym when I can, going for walks, drinking a couple glasses of V8 a day, and so on. I’m still a pretty young guy, just about to turn 37, and I want to do what I can to have a long life still ahead of me, to see as much of the boys’ futures as I possibly can. When it comes to my diet, my initial thought was that the most important thing would be to add more fruits and vegetables for snacks and small meals, eat more healthy lunches, balance those microwave dinners with consistent goodness for the rest of the day.
But I was at the supermarket today, getting a few things for when the boys are next back with me, and suddenly it hit me: there’s a different side to healthy, a side that might be exemplified by preparing a meal when it’s just me. A side that sees solo not as just about the absences, but about being present in that state as well; that sees it not just a part of life to get through as quickly and easily as possible, but a part to make as meaningful as possible while I’m in it. So I bought all the fixin’s for tacos, along with rice and beans for the sides, and came home and prepared a meal for myself.
I’m pretty sure that’s the first real meal I’ve ever cooked for just me. There’s a first time for everything, after all. I can’t say that I loved the cooking this time, but I believe I’ll get there too.
For starters,get rid of the pre-made (store bought) taco shells. Then get rid of the beans from a can. Beans are really easy to make … I would suggest you get a pressure cooker to make you vegetable and meat stock. With the meat stock you let it cool, and then skim the fat off the top. Just a suggestion.