Mike Berry isn’t a perfect husband or father. Recently his family let him know just how they feel about that.
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Earlier this week, on Sunday in fact, I was scurrying through the airport in San Diego, California, on my way to the conference I was speaking at, when something caught my eye on Facebook and made my heart melt. In a moment I was humbled and grateful for the family I’ve been blessed with! As I tugged my suitcase behind me a famous movie line crossed my mind: “You make me want to be a better man!”
In the late 90’s the movie As Good As It Gets, starring Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt debuted in theaters and was a smash hit. You may remember this film. It was in a lineup of blockbuster hits in 1997. The movie garnered an array of Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations that year. It was one of my favorite films then and still is to this day.
At one point, Melvin is struggling with paying Carol a compliment when he suddenly blurts out, “You make me want to be a better man!” At that, Carol’s heart melts.
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In the movie, Nicholson plays Melvin Udall, an anti-social, condescending author who lives and works in New York City. Hunt plays Carol Connelly, a kind-hearted, down-to-earth but down on her luck waitress at Udall’s favorite restaurant. The two form an unlikely friendship that grows into more than friends throughout the film. At one point, Melvin is struggling with paying Carol a compliment when he suddenly blurts out, “You make me want to be a better man!” At that, Carol’s heart melts.
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I was busy this week. Quite busy, actually, from Father’s Day on, no less. While my wife was busy working, leading our children, and our home altogether, I was on a plane headed to my next speaking engagement. It’s all part of the dream we’ve chosen to pursue! But often, I feel I could do better. Not necessarily with traveling because we’ve found a pretty good balance. I’m talking about life in general with my family. In the back of my mind, I replay the countless times I’ve failed as a husband and father. The unkind words I’ve spilled in a heated moment or the preoccupation with something of much less importance than my wife and children. It’s a script that scrolls through my thoughts often.
Then, in one of my few down moments on Sunday, I clicked a notification on Facebook to find this …
“I don’t deserve this,” I thought to myself, as I smiled and wiped a small tear. “Wow! I don’t deserve their grace, their love, or their kindness.” They’re too good to me.
“I don’t deserve this,” I thought to myself, as I smiled and wiped a small tear. “Wow! I don’t deserve their grace, their love, or their kindness.” They’re too good to me.
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In a moment, as I looked at the collage my amazing wife posted, along with the comment she left, all of my failures and shortcomings, inadequacies, idiosyncrasies that can drive my family crazy, and sometimes selfish attitude hit me like a tidal wave! I was far from deserving of this but boy oh boy was I humbled. “They make me want to be a better man,” I thought, recounting that famous scene from As Good As It Gets. I clutched my phone to my chest, pulled myself together, gripped my suitcase tightly, and made my way through the terminal.
That’s what is so amazing about the grace my family is so quick to give to me. It’s underserving. It’s so undeserving. But they give it to me freely, and for that, I’m grateful. Deep in my heart, it makes me want to be better for them. It motivates me to fight harder for their heart, and do everything in my power to be the husband and father they need me to be.
Kristin, Rachel, Krystal, Noelle, Jaala, Andre, Elisha, Jacob and Sam—you make me want to be a better man! I love you.
Adapted from the original version on Confessions of a Parent.
Top photo—Paxson Woelber/Flickr
Bottom photos courtesy of author.