I approached my soon-to-be partner mere seconds after I saw him at the bar. Within a few hours of talking, I knew he was someone I wanted in my life. Laurence was smart, driven, observant, and gut-painfully hysterical. His British accent didn’t hurt either. He later admitted that he noticed me first and was hoping I might make my way over because he had no plans of approaching me.
He didn’t think I’d be interested. I was shocked and relieved that I didn’t believe in the stupid notion that women should wait to be approached. I would have missed out on the greatest person I’ve ever met.
While social standards and stereotypes are certainly changing, I still have friends who refuse to make the first move. Luckily, the story of how my partner and I met was able to sway the mindset of one of my most traditional friends. Now, I hope to sway a few others!
Whether you’re single or divorced, there’s something powerful and endearing about a woman who isn’t afraid to make the first move.
10 reasons why women should make the first move
1. It’s more fun than waiting around for love.
I’ve had countless girlfriends complain about waiting for a Tinder match to message them, or a guy to call them after a first date. When I suggested that they reach out, I’ve been met with sheer outrage. But there’s a way to come across as being assertive rather than sounding desperate. If you feel like you don’t have time to wait around then don’t. Say something.
2. The right person might not approach you first.
Don’t let a good opportunity pass you by just because society says women should wait to be approached.
3. Think of it more simply as practice for your social skills.
Don’t put too much weight on your decision to approach a stranger. Don’t stress about the possibility that this person might not like you. Remember, there’s also a chance you might not like them either. Even if he’s not a keeper, it’s good practice for introducing yourself. There’s a fine line between sounding interesting and seeming desperate, and the only way to avoid the latter is through trial and error.
4. It could boost your self-confidence.
Like my partner, some people avoid approaching others because they’re afraid of rejection. While making a move can feel scary at first, you’ll never know if you don’t try. Taking a risk is a surefire way to boost your self-confidence and show your potential suitor just how assertive you are. Not only is this an attractive quality upon meeting someone new, but this type of fearless spontaneity can also help a relationship last.
5. The worst that could happen is NOTHING.
OK, so it might be a blow to your ego but we’re all adults here. We can all handle a little rejection. What’s worse is missing out on a good thing because you were too afraid to say hello.
6. Let’s give guys a break.
Men are put under a lot of pressure when it comes to dating. They’re expected to randomly approach you without seeming weird, ask you out without sounding desperate, pick a nice place without seeming cheap, pick you up on time, know what you want to do after the date is over, know when to ask you for a second date, the list goes on and on. Give the guy a break for once. It might come as a great relief.
7. Men like to feel desired too.
Not all men enjoy picking up women. Not all men have the drive or charisma to try. Making the first move might give your potential suitor the same boost of confidence we all crave. And who doesn’t like a little attention?
8. You’re more likely to get the love life YOU choose.
You won’t have to settle for the one that chooses you.
9. We’re all human.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a straight man or a woman, bisexual, gay, pan, trans, or however else you might identify, we’re all capable of swooning someone we like. It’s about time we level the playing field.
10. You can break one of the many gender stereotypes against women.
Women are smashing stereotypes every single day. Why can’t you?
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Sabrina May on Unsplash