Moving on from a breakup is a complicated process. Following the shock of the initial separation, are feelings of anger, sadness, and grief that is often crippling and mind-numbing.
The pain of a breakup is so profound that it sometimes leaves us not knowing what to do next. Though there’s no one medicine to soothe out a broken heart, there are specific ways that will help you move on and heal faster.
Here are ten ways to help you deal with heartbreak:
1) Steer clear and keep the distance.
After the initial shock of a breakup, on occasion, the somewhat empty promise to remain friends. It is important to remember to distance yourself from them — no communication whatsoever, including calls, texts, and IMs.
Even contact with the same friends or families should be avoided.
It doesn’t mean that you have to avoid them forever. But it is essential to keep away for a while to heal your heart and move on.
2) Surround yourself with support
When hurting, it is easy to distance yourself from others and keep the pain away. You begin to question your self-worth. Are you perfect enough?
However, you must surround yourself with positivity and people who will support you fully. Not only will this help you in moving on from your ex, but it will also be useful for your bruised ego, as it reinforces your self-concept and rebuilds your self-worth.
3) Manage your Anger and avoid lashing out.
People deal with Anger differently. Some people deal with it with a grace that epitomizes maturity. Some people would burn closets worth of clothes, destroy furniture, and memorabilia, cut out and shred album after album of photos, lash out at friends who mentioned something triggering, and on occasions come up to their ex and make a scene.
It is essential to find a way to deal with the anger of a breakup. Some can easily fall off the deep end and resort to numbing with alcohol and drugs. One healthy way of coping is to try and write a journal of everything negative in the relationship. This way not only are you letting out your hidden frustrations and anger, but you can also help clarify the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place.
4) Feel your emotions and deal with them.
It’s a natural reaction to push everything down and pretend that nothing happened because whether we like it or not, the world doesn’t stop if we are hurt.
After a breakup, it is essential to remember that as humans, we feel. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the frustration, and the worry that you are not good enough, and you may never be happy again.
Acknowledging these emotions are frightening. However, it is necessary to face them sift through them and deal with them to move on.
Set the time to grieve the relationship for what it was and what it should have been. Cry and mope, but don’t let the negative emotions consume you and hold you back from living your life.
5) Talk it out.
There are certain days for the overwhelming feeling of pain, and loneliness reaches its limits.
You feel helpless; at the same time, you feel like your chest is going to burst. Many people are capable of bouncing back from a breakup on their own, but this isn’t possible for most.
Some people have trouble coping with their emotions. And will need someone to talk to. It could be a parent, a friend, or in most cases, a therapist.
While it is painful, talking about the relationship and the realizations after the connection is quite helpful in sorting out emotions.
If you’re having trouble coping and feel that you’re depressed, seek help immediately.
Even if you’re enjoying each other’s company, something went wrong along the way. Thinking of the reasons why the relationship failed can help you realize the mistakes you probably made, and help you understand where, and why the relationship didn’t work out.
It can also help avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships. By this time, it is essential to take good care of yourself. Take a look in the mirror and learn more about yourself. You might realize something you never thought possible.
7) Organize your living space.
Seeing things, the two of you shared will bring forth torrents of fears and painful memories. To remedy this, you can change things up and redecorate your environment.
It can be as simple as rearranging the sofa and coffee table, to painting the whole room a different color and changing the drapes. Remove painful triggers that remind you of the past.
Regardless of your home reminds you of your past lover, it is essential to acknowledge the change. Embrace it and accept it to learn from it.
8) Go out and have fun.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that there’s a whole world outside of your own. While breakups suck, and it feels like the end of the world, it is essential not to let yourself be eaten by the negativity of it.
Eat meals with your family, go outside and hang out with friends, jog around the block, or meet new people and dogs out in the park.
Go out and have fun!
9) Be aware of rebound relationships.
Rebound doesn’t work most of the time. For some people, jumping in on another relationship just shortly after a breakup, is simply a way of masking the negative emotions. It may sound nice to be embraced and appreciated by another person, but ultimately, when the relationship fails, the number of negative feelings you have to deal with will double.
It is essential to settle things first and remain single to reflect on yourself in a relationship before jumping in on an unsteady relationship. Have fun and mingle, but don’t commit to easily.
10) Stand by your decision.
Regardless, if it was you or them who chose to end the relationship, it is crucial to stand by the breakup and respect the decision to separate.
It is easy to focus on the right side of the relationship and completely dismiss the negative side. However, it is a balance of looking at the relationship with objective eyes that can help romanticize the breakup.
Cherish the good moments you have with each other. Learn from the painful mistakes you made together. Accept the situation and move forward with your life. Greater things wait for those who strive.
Remember, a broken heart is a painful ordeal that affects us at one time or another. It is perfectly normal to cry, mope, and feel depressed about it.
However, one must always remember that there is still a rainbow after the rain. That even though it feels like the world around you is collapsing to destruction, It’s just a part of life. Each heartbreak is a chance to learn more about yourself and how you deal with it.