What fathers had to say on Twitter this week.
Hilarious, ironic, charming, moving tweets from fathers. Here’s what has been said about fatherhood’s fantastic adventure this week.
— Michael Schmidt (@IowaSchmidt) 24 Juin 2014
Only taken Suarez three days to come up with an excuse slightly less plausible than when my 5yo told me teddy had drawn all over the wall. — tom jamieson (@jamiesont) 28 Juin 2014
*4yo standing in front of TV Me: You know, you make a better door than a window. Transformation into my father = complete
— Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) 28 Juin 2014
My 3yo got an award for “being inquisitive” & if his teacher thinks I don’t know a euphemism for “annoying” when I see one she is MISTAKEN. — Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) 25 Juin 2014
I have enormous respect for the 4yo’s ability to deny doing something while she’s standing right in front of you STILL DOING IT.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) 24 Juin 2014
4yo “nanny! Daddy has cut his thumb off and now he’s grown it back!” Cos magic. — Odd Thomas (@tomw1984) 21 Juin 2014
Current status: Getting my eyebrows “waxed” with scotch tape because my 4yo won’t take no for an answer.
— Just Brett (@DreamHostBrett) 29 Juin 2014
Rat under the house downgraded to mice (saw one in the kitchen). So I bravely crawled in to lay bait, with only 5yo daughter for protection. — Richard Harrison (@rdhn) 28 Juin 2014
My 4yo hasn’t stopped talking for 1,381 hours.
— Drew (@DrewExists) 28 Juin 2014
ME: Did you brush your teeth? 4yo: Yes! ME: Promise? 4yo: Yes. But I’ll do it again. *caught in a lie — Jeff Wild (@jiffywild) 19 Juin 2014
4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: … Me: … 4yo: … Me: … 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish. ~ @One_FineMess
— Jeff Faria (@PatriotsOfMars) 17 Juin 2014
4yo: “Catched one!” Me: “Nope. Try again.” 4yo: “Caughted one.” Me: “Keep trying.” 4yo: “I don’t like fish.” — b*town (@sugarboyfly) 13 Juin 2014
3yo: “Daddy” Me: “what” 3yo: “you mean pardon” Me: “pardon” 3yo: “you mean pardon” Me: “I said pardon” 3yo: “what?” Glad we cleared that up.
— Mark, Sonny, & Luca (@sonnyandluca) 14 Juin 2014
Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 5yo: .. Me: .. 5yo: .. Me: .. 5yo: I don’t have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough. — Kristján. (@Beau_Ruga) 29 Juin 2014
Me: Have a cookie! 5yo: Before lunch? Me: Life’s short. Dessert first! 5yo: I’ll save it for afters. Me: Whose child is this? o.O
— Aaron Sikes (@SikesAaron) 23 Juin 2014
5yo: Dad, when can I get a pet Dragon? Me: You know Dragons aren’t real, right? 5yo: What’s that got to do with anything!? — tchrquotes (@tchrquotes) 23 Juin 2014
6yo: Daddy, come and look at mummy’s new fingering Me: WHAT?! 6yo: She’s upstairs playing with it Me: Millie, it’s a finger ring. Two words.
— Will (@thecrabbyhook) 26 Juin 2014
“Did you just say spiders have wings? Are you drunk??” – 6yo to grandma I’ll discipline her about the disrespect after I stop cry-laughing. — Noah Gray (@noahWG) 20 Juin 2014 Mommy: *gets off the phone* Ugh, I sounded like a douche. 4yo: What’s a douche? Mommy: Nothing Me: I gotta go to work. 4yo: Goodbye douche! — Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) 28 Juin 2014
Want more ? See Last week’s best dad tweets.
Photo credit : Flickr/JennDurfey