The Holidays can be an especially tough time of year to be single, especially when it comes to going to Holiday parties and social gatherings alone. For some of you, it’s perfectly fine to be single, and it even has its advantages. For others, the Holidays can bring on sadness, loneliness, frustration, even anger.
I asked my private Facebook group of 750 single women over 40 what was the hardest thing about being single for the Holidays, and here’s what they said. Which of their answers resonates most with you?
20 Reasons Why It’s Hard to Be Single for the Holidays
- 1. Memories of a past married life that haunt me.
- 2. Having nobody to help you wrap presents.
- 3. I miss those rare moments when the tree is all decorated, the lights are on, and you have a few minutes to sit together on the sofa with a glass of wine or a cup of tea and maybe share a tender kiss.
- 4. Not having any of your Christmas things to decorate with because your ex is holding them ransom. (Yikes!)
- 5. I miss driving around to look at the lights, and attending candlelight service on Christmas Eve with a partner.
- 6. I usually work on Christmas so that others can enjoy it. I honor my mom who died on New Years Day by not working and taking time for my kids. Now that my kids are getting older and have their on agendas, I’m not sure what the future will bring, but I’m wayyyyyy open to it!
- 7. I don’t like attending parties where there are mostly couples.
- 8. I’m sad when putting Christmas ornaments on the tree. It brings back all the years of memories. My college-age son did it until last year. This year he’s at his dad’s, so the job falls on me.
- 9. It’s hard to put the ornaments on the tree. My thought is, pick a few ornaments that you love and put those up. Or, do something different—just lights if that is all you want. It’s for you now.
- 10. The hardest thing is no presents under the tree. But, my husband never bought me anything anyway.
If he got something for me, he never understood the concept of waiting for Christmas, and would just bring it home and hand it to me. So, I used to buy myself something from “Santa” and put it wrapped under the tree for me to open with our daughter when she opened her gifts.
- 11. I miss having someone to snuggle with.
- 12. It’s really hard to hold the past with gratitude, and then practice letting it go. But Christmas is about a birth, celebrating new life, not old life. Maybe think about new traditions, like doing something small for someone else every day all month. It could be fun to plan that.
- 13. It’s hard to see everybody else content, hearing everybody’s future plans with their mate, and most of all, kissing.
- 14. I come to this one differently. I didn’t marry until I was 37, so I had a number of years being “single” at Christmas to create my own traditions. I used to like to hang stockings and decorate a tree with old family ornaments, some from the 1800’s! Just for me. So, I did it.
These days, since I lost my sister in 2010, my Christmas soul-mate, I’ve been less interested. We do have a medium-size pre-lit artificial tree I may put up since it’s easier than the 8 foot unlit tree. My favorite time is sit on the couch with the lights off after it is done, and drinking a glass of wine. I did this as a kid (without the wine), and recall the lights reflecting off my siblings eyes.
- 15. Funny, but, it never bothered me even after being divorced for so many years, simply because I have my family and some close friends nearby. Being with the wrong man would be worse.
- 16. I miss having no one to talk to with my morning coffee. Also knowing how bad you look really doesn’t matter in the morning.
- 17. It’s hard for me to see couples out shopping or buying a tree or going to parties together.
- 18. It’s difficult for me to be alone, not having the Holidays to with a special love. Of course, I’m totally grateful to share it with my girls and parents. Just missing that different kind of love.
- 19. I don’t really find it any different from every other day. I’d love to meet the right guy that will be a compliment to my life (as I hope to be in his), but I suppose the timing isn’t right because I haven’t met him yet. 2017 may or may not be the year, but I’ll have fun finding out!
- 20. Oh, who am I kidding? I miss mind-blowing orgasms. There, I said it.