After losing his partner of five decades, Stanley felt alone and depressed. His fortunes would change, however, when his niece discovered LGBTQ friendly senior housing in Philadelphia.
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After being with my partner Pedro for 49 years, 5 months and 2 days, he passed away on October
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6, 2012.
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I was despondent.
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Extremely depressed.
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Not suicidal, but so alone.
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My greatest support during that period was my great – my oldest niece.
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She was – she is a very, very organized person.
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After Pedro’s death, I didn’t realize it but I was ill myself.
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It was a condition that I was not aware of, but it kept getting worse and eventually two
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years – about a year and a half later, it came to a head.
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I was hospitalized and in healthcare for a total of 16 weeks, and then went home to my
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apartment alone.
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However, my niece, throughout this whole session, this whole period, was researching sites for
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me for various – for various events, various occasions, various causes.
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I believe it was she who found an apartment – an LGBT-friendly senior residence building
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called John C. Anderson Apartments in Center City, Philadelphia.
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Actually, it’s in the center of the Gayborhood.
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I called the building and spoke to the manager.
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I asked if there were any apartments available.
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And she said that there weren’t but there was a list.
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And I said, “How long is the list?”
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She said, “About 200 names.”
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And I said, “Can I add my name?”
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And she said, “Yeah, sure, you can add your name.
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And give me your number.
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If something opens up, I’ll call you back.”
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I said, “That’ll be fine.”
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So I did that.
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That was on a Friday, mid-day probably.
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On Monday, the manager of the building called me and said, “I have an opening, if you
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are still interested.”
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I said, “Well, could you tell me something about the building?”
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Because we really didn’t discuss the facilities or what the apartments are like, the size
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of them, or any of the details.
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We just spoke and I said, “Well, let me considerate it and I’ll get back to you.”
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And so I contacted my niece’s husband who happens to be an attorney, and he agreed to
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come with me to see the apartment.
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So I called back and made an appointment.
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And the two of us walk in and as she opened the door for us, my nephew said, “Grab it!”
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We went toward the door to look at the garden and there were three people outside.
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They walked in and introduced themselves.
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And I introduced myself and my nephew.
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And they said, “Are you moving in?”
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I said, “That’s a very good possibility.”
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“Oh, wonderful.
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That’ll be wonderful.
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We’ll love to have you.”
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I gave a deposit that day.
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I started papers.
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I started disposing of fifty years worth of possessions, just enough to furnish my apartment.
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Within two months I was living at John C. Anderson Apartments.
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It took me awhile to get settled into the apartment after disposing of so many material
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things.
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But gradually I formed relationships.
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Not friendships, but very good relationships, and we did social things together.
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I found that my state of mind was beginning to change.
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I felt lifted.
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From 2012 until 2017, when I moved to Center City, I was waiting in a box till my time
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was up.
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After moving to Anderson, I felt that I was starting a new life.
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I don’t know how many cities are fortunate enough to have places like the John C Anderson
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Apartments.
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It’s a very well-managed building.
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Almost everyone is friendly.
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Those places that don’t have that this kind of facility are really missing something because
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when you feel your life has ended, there’s – it just shows that there is an opportunity
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for it to revive.
—
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