The title may have captured your attention and piqued your curiosity. If so, was it the word ‘cross-gender’? Starting with the potential elephant in the room, cross-gender is defined as being across genders or having to do with the opposite gender. This term is uniquely qualified to describe the interaction (or lack thereof) between the genders when it comes to mentoring and coaching.
Cross-gender gives credence and importance to the notion of men and women supporting each other professionally and developmentally. Sometimes, in the current climate of division and caution, men and women are leery of having contact beyond corporate or professional norms. These limitations put both genders at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to ‘playing the game’ of politics and climbing the corporate ladder.
Mentoring is centered on being a trusted advisor or guide to another person. When the mentor and mentee have a mutually trusting and respectful relationship, they have the foundation for a highly successful mentoring partnership. It may be easier to speak about than actually accomplish for some people.
Being a trusted confidant to another person takes a set of skills and traits that not everyone possesses. It is not fair to generalize that certain genders tend to have explicit characteristics. This dilemma sets up the need to have cross-gender mentoring and coaching for aspiring professionals.
Coaching is unique in its approach, as compared with mentoring, in that the individual being coached is working on a specific set of goals that will take them to the next level in their career or development. Coaching calls for the one individual to support another by giving support and encouragement, not the solutions. People must be open to listening to others, who are coaching them, in order to achieve successful outcomes.
The individuals who are willing to take part in the coaching process are focused on their own growth and development through the process of self-discovery and realization. Both of these things require a safe space to work within to achieve them. Eliminating cross-gender biases is critical to making this work for everyone.
In the case of mentoring and catching, the aims are similar in that both want sustainability with the knowledge and skills gained. The ability to sustain new behaviors depends on the support offered by the trusting and empowering relationship between mentor and mentee.
Some of the challenges that prevent cross-gender mentoring and coaching are biases, fears, and experience. Some people may have underlying biases about the other gender that could inhibit the mentoring process. Underlying biases are just one way to experience said biases.
Unfortunately, fear plays a significant role in keeping people in mentoring relationships with their own gender. It can be very overwhelming to move beyond the safety of one’s comfort zone to experience something like working with someone of the opposite gender.
Some people have developed their mindset about cross-gender mentoring based on their previous experiences. It could be that a man worked with a woman, previously, who was disrespectful or incapable of a beneficial mentoring relationship. As a result, he may be unwilling to open up to that experience, again.
Alternately, a woman may have been mentored by a man in the past, only to be left with the burden of feelings of inadequacy or imposter syndrome. This experience may very well prevent her from being willing to engage in a cross-gender mentoring relationship.
When individuals can move beyond their hang-ups, they open themselves up to the potential and possibilities of the present…and beyond.
The first benefit of cross-gender mentoring centers around having a more balanced approach in working together. The perspectives of each individual in any situation gives way to a more robust learning experience. Each person and gender see things through their own lens. The value of this can be immeasurable when applied across genders.
Secondly, the ability to leverage each gender’s experience in a mentoring relationship is invaluable. One gender may have unique experiences not afforded to the other. The ability to see each other’s perspectives gives each gender an advantage over those who are more myopic in their purview.
The third benefit of cross-gender mentoring is in modeling it for others, especially in the workplace. Five unique generations make up the current workforce. Each one has a need to see the value of the generations other than their own. A kind of validation comes from modeling cross-gender mentoring and coaching that makes it legitimate and valuable.
Each gender comes with their own sweeping set of generalizations, used too often to characterize the other. Obviously, this can be very harmful in developing a cross-gender mentoring relationship. Meet each person without the barriers of biases, fears, and experiences. Be open to the potential and possibilities that come with cross-gender mentoring. Go beyond the generalizations to get to know others on a one-on-one basis.
Find the value and benefits of cross-gender mentoring and share your experience with others. This article only highlighted three of the benefits of cross-gender mentoring. Imagine how many more benefits and advantages exist out there waiting for us to experience them! Let’s lead the cross-gender mentoring momentum with the success stories we create together without regard to the perceived challenges.
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Photo credit: By kate_sept2004 @ iStock by Getty Images