You mustered up the courage to talk to that girl you find irresistibly attractive.
You feel the energy matches, and you’re equally excited that you met each other.
After you exchange numbers, you go home and think of the perfect text to send.
You text back and forth, and after a few days pass, so did that mutual energy you had when you met.
What happened?
Don’t worry; you’re not alone. What you don’t see in this scenario are the mistakes you made along the way.
We have all fall victim to our mistakes, but often we don’t know what they were, especially with women.
What if I told you that your mistakes began before you sent that text? No, I do not mean what the 2005 guide tells you about “waiting for a couple of days” and all that other junk.
I mean, substantial changes you can make that will prevent you from making the mistakes above that you were not even aware of doing.
Let’s dive in.
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Equal playing field
I know what it is like to see someone you find attractive.
I have said it before, but I’ll say it until it locks into your head.
Take her off the pedestal.
Once you see this attractive person, you attribute assumed characteristics to her. The problem is that this is the first step in accepting bad behavior, which will show up in the future.
You are not making her do any of the work to prove these assumed characteristics, and you then move forward, proving that you are good enough for her.
You are racing to fill a cup with water, but you’ve started her glass half full. You are starting at a deficit and essentially displaying the value you think you possess.
Now, Let’s not be foolish. The initial pursuit is about you courting the woman and should never change.
In that pursuit, don’t devalue your self-worth.
Something I say to myself to keep my balance when I meet someone new is, “She’s attractive. Cool. What’s next?”
What does being attractive have to do with being loyal, communicative, supportive, and nurturing? You know, the things men care about in a woman.
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Your text game is weak
Kill everything you have ever heard about the objective of texting.
Never text to get to know someone, tell them about yourself, or show your interest.
Texting should have one primary objective; to get face-to-face.
Yes, it takes some intro texts with someone that you just met. Anything other than that should direct towards meeting up for an activity.
You should never be in the dilemma of thinking about the perfect text to send.
Get rid of those novels and get straight to the point. You are not twiddling your thumbs, giggidy texting all day. Stop that.
Texting all day shows a bunch of qualities that turn women off.
It shows that:
- You have too much time on your hands,
- You don’t know how to be direct and
- It shows that your interest is way too high.
That might be true in your case, but you better get good at hiding that.
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You better pass the test
Go back to my article so you can pass the tests women will throw at you.
I used to think these tests were manipulative, but it is the exact opposite. Women need these tests to weed out all the creeps, losers, and weird guys.
It’s safe.
Women need to feel safe and comfortable, or you mid-as-well kill the conversation where it stands.
Look at the pillars above. How do you think you come off to a woman when you are needy of her time texting all day, place too much emphasis on her looks, and don’t value yourself?
Women can pick weak men out in a matter of minutes. You can get ghosted after sending one negative signal to them.
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What they won’t tell you and don’t want you to know
You might think that if you pull your show of attraction and strip her of all your attention, how will she know you’re interested?
Exactly.
Women don’t like living in the mystery and the unknown.
The less they know, the more determined they will be to find the answers. It goes back to the need for safety and comfort.
The more determined they are, the higher their attraction toward you will be. They cannot live without an answer from someone they’re interested in dating.
You are not the only one who is interested in her.
You better put your best foot forward and be sure you’re at the top of the pyramid of all the guys drooling over her.
Do you get it now?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Mansado Louis on Unsplash