Exhausted, frustrated, and confused, I was telling God that He made a mistake. Through tears, I was asking Him, “Why would you give me these desires? Take away the dream in my heart!” Up to this point my dream had just brought misery.
Constantly frustrating my wife with my lack of presence and not making the traction that I wished I could make, I narrowed down the problem and two solutions. I could love my family well or chase my dreams. I couldn’t possibly do both.
This solution led me to lay aside my dreams and being with my family. Well, for a while and then I was still unhappy. Then I would chase my dream and put my family on the back burner, I would come alive for a moment and then be unhappy and hurt the hearts of the ones I loved. What an awesome feeling; I was like a chipmunk trying to dodge the tires of an oncoming car. Zig-zagging back and forth but still going splat.
It’s tiring feeling like you are letting everyone down including your heart.
I was confused for years chasing my dreams and I realized that a big portion of the problem is mindset at the beginning. If you desire a close family, healthy life, and achieving the big goals and dreams for your life, it’s important to flush out the “and.”
There are certain things in life that require you to choose one or the other. For example, sleeping in or getting up early. A lot of things though are “and” choices. If you want more in life operating in “and” more often will help you to reach the dream and have you and your family love the dream or goal along the way.
Don’t get tired of reading this because I’m not going to suggest that you grind harder, drink a bunch of Red Bulls, and get four hours of sleep so that you can do everything. Achieving “and” can happen without killing yourself and running around like a chipmunk. Chipmunks are cute until they go splat just like you and your dreams. Let’s stop running the pancake gauntlet and apply these 3 principles.
Cut
We have a lot of waste in our lives when we really look at it. It’s not fun to hear, however, we do a lot of things that aren’t getting us closer to our goals. Cutting out things that aren’t actually restful and don’t move us closer is the first step to having time and energy to be able to operate in “and.” Track your time and activities for a week and cut out or at least reduce your t.v. watching, social media use, and any other thing that we mindlessly zone out on. Once you track how much time you are spending on these activities, make a conscious choice of how much mindless time you will allow. Cut the junk and you’ll have the time.
Consistency
If you go to the gym for eight hours in one day you are not going to see a difference in the mirror. You don’t start looking like the “Rock” by killing your biceps all day for one day. You get there by going consistently for a long period of time. We need to be consistent in our activity to get to our goals. Most of us do the eight-hour gym routine and then give up and move to something else. If you are going to achieve what God has for you there are a few tricks to stay consistent. First, you need to reduce your dream work time to something you can maintain on a daily basis. A half hour a day for a year is a lot of hours working on your dreams. It is also imperative to plan time to read the Bible, play with your kids, and go on a date night with your spouse. Maybe you can do more than 30 minutes a day and that’s great. Just make sure that you can maintain the time.
We are patterned creatures. If you create a time of day you are working on different things, you will build habits that will move you with consistency towards your true desires. Habits will move you in a consistent direction; just make sure it’s towards what you really want.
Adjust
Some things that you are doing will move you in the right direction and some things that you will do won’t. It’s important to check your effort and if it’s producing the goals you want. If not, adjust and fine tune. Over time your adjustments will make you efficient and you will get more done with less time which translates into you being your family’s hero. Adjust along the way to do more with less.
It is possible to achieve your heart in a way that honors your family and those you love. You were built to dream, just make sure to bring your family with you. Start small, make adjustments, and stay consistent and you will be Chasing Dreams in Minivan.
Questions to Ponder:
What do I need to cut?
What do I need to reduce so I can stay consistent?
Learn to be your family’s hero and achieve your dreams! My new book, Chasing Dreams in a Minivan: For men with big goals and the women who put up with them, will help you do just that! Check the book out here. Chasing Dreams in a Minivan.
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Originally published on Zechariah Newman
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