Jordan Gray believes in equality for men and women, but refuses to budge on the ‘who should pay on a first date’ issue.
I’m a feminist who is also a passionate supporter of the men’s movement.
Basically, I’m a big softie who loves all people and just wants everyone to get along.
But there’s one topic that I’m still relatively old-fashioned about.
I believe that guys should pay for dates.
More specifically, guys who ask their partner out on a date should pay for the date and all that it entails.
Why hold on to such a potentially outdated perspective on our dating culture?
Here are three reasons why I think that men should be footing the bill, at least on first dates.
1. Makeup and Underwear
Chances are she spends a small fortune on her makeup and underwear compared to you.
While it’s true that some women don’t wear make up (or underwear, for that matter) the vast majority of the makeup industry’s revenue is being supplied by women.
Her foundation, moisturizer, bronzer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick and nail polish? Those supplies collectively cost her well over $100, and likely over an hour of her time to apply it.
Your shaving cream, aftershave, and toothpaste? Less than $20.
If the makeup argument doesn’t get you, the underwear likely will.
Chances are she spends $20 – $30 per pair of underwear, and you spend $10 on a 3-pack…and don’t forget that she likely also has the extra expense of bras.
Whether it’s societal expectation, or just differences in where we choose to put our attention going into a date, your date probably put a decent amount of effort into looking her best. Respect that effort by paying for the date.
2. Men Still Make More
While pay inequality is slowly starting to catch up, women still on average make less money than men do.
According to a recent study, women make $0.81 for every $1 that men make (as of 2010).
So if she’s making 4/5th’s the cash-flow that you are, why not be a gentleman and pick up the tab?
3. It Encourages You To Date Quality Over Quantity
If you’re going out on multiple first dates per week, then I get it… paying for every first date would consume a huge amount of your resources.
But that’s the beauty of this rule.
By pushing yourself to pay for the dates that you are excited about, you end up only going on dates with women that you feel compelled to go on dates with. You’ll naturally choose more carefully and only invest your time, energy, and resources in the dates that you’re actually excited about.
Quality over quantity is a good strategy in most areas of your life, and your dating life is certainly no exception.
If you are going on dates with women that make you light up inside… the kind that it feels like it would be a privilege to treat to a night out… then that is a very different feeling compared to “Well, I guess I’ll go on that date… and I guess I’ll pay for it… cause I should…”
If you don’t feel compelled to pay, I would argue that you should have listened to your gut and not gone on that particular date in the first place.
Make it a personal rule that you’ll only date people that you feel genuinely compelled towards and paying for the date will feel like a no-brainer.
Pay For The Date Because You Want To
If you think that dating is too expensive, maybe you should date fewer women and focus on the ones you really like, or start taking her on powerful yet inexpensive dates.
While I don’t believe in hard and fast rules about anything when it comes to dating and relationships, regardless of gender or orientation, it’s just good manners to treat someone to a date that you asked them out on.
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