In the world of self-help, it seems as if giving up is the worst thing you can do. I can tell from the hundreds of times I’ve heard and read the phrase, “never give up.”
I’ve heard every successful person, coach, and guru repeat it. So many times that I became ashamed to even thinking about quitting— I felt that I should follow my purpose at all costs, and If I stopped, then I’m a loser.
But today, how I see things changed. My experiences proved that giving up isn’t always bad. Sometimes, at certain conditions, it’s better to give up and start fresh with a new goal and perspective.
Below, I’ll share these conditions. If you find them relevant, you might seriously consider giving up.
1. You Hate The Process
In order to get to a goal, you need a process. A path to achieve that goal. For example, if you want to become a successful entrepreneur, you need to develop the necessary skills like management, dealing with people, problem-solving, etc.
This process of learning and applying those skills can last for months and even years before you achieve your goal. And if you hate it, then the journey towards success will feel like hell for you.
And it doesn’t worth it to live in hell for a long time in order to achieve a certain future goal.
Of course, few of us enjoy their time when they first start working on a goal. Most of us need to work for some time, build habits, and get used to the process before we start to like it.
However, if have spent a significant amount of time working on your goal without cultivating a passion, love, or interest in the process; then you should think about quitting and picking up another goal.
Denying instant gratification is a virtue. But make sure to not sacrifice your enjoyment of live for a very long time.
2. The Goal Doesn’t Have a Deep Meaning For You
Having a meaningful goal in our life is one of the most important things for happiness.
Meaning is what keeps our days from seeming empty and worthless. Therefore if your goal doesn’t have a deep personally meaning for you, if you don’t have a deep connection to that goal, then you’re likely to be unfulfilled both through the journey and after you achieve your goal.
Sometimes it’s hard to know if your goal is truly meaningful. You could start by asking yourself about:
- How will it make me a better person?
- How will it make the world a better place?
If you find out that achieving your goal won’t get you closer to the person you want to be, or that it won’t help you make the change you want to make in this world, then you have no reason to continue fighting for it. Chasing something meaningless is, simply, meaningless.
Instead, pick a new, more meaningful goal. A goal that you want not because everyone wants it, like money, but because you have your own personal reasons to strive for it.
3. The Goal Causes You to Sacrifice Your Health and/or Relationships
It’s rare to see someone whose health and social life is terrible and at the same time, he/she is happy and fulfilled.
And this fact remains even if he/she’s super successful. Physical sickness and loneliness can’t be covered by any degree of success. Therefore you should pay close attention if chasing your goal hurt your health and relationships.
Fortunately, most of the time you don’t need to sacrifice your goal— you just need to give less time to it and more time to taking care of your body and hanging out with people you love.
However, if you just can’t chase your goal without negatively affecting your health and relationships, then you should prioritize these two and change your goal. I know It’s hard because I’ve gone through the same hard choice.
I’ve spent two years trying to become an online-entrepreneur before I knew that I can’t make it without damaging my eyesight because of the long hours of work I need to spend every day in front of a laptop.
So I gave up. And picked another goal — becoming a writer. Which doesn’t require me to expose my eyes to bright screens for a long time. And today I’m happier because I know that what I do to become a successful writer won’t have negative repercussions on my health in the future.
A Step Forward
Giving up doesn’t mean abandoning the self-improvement and success path completely — you always need to chase a goal if you want to live a meaningful and happy life.
It simply means putting goals that are more worthwhile. Putting goals that would give you the maximum amount of happiness in your life.
Think about it as a step forward.
—
Previously published on medium
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: on iStock