Not being sure how she really feels can often be an obstacle to the reciprocity required for meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Some women are built to be so secretive about their real feelings that you can be with her a long time and still find yourself sometimes wondering what she really feels deep down or what she is really thinking about you, the relationship, or the future.
However, there are signs that cannot be hidden which she will display consciously or unconsciously and they will help you understand her true feelings. By responding appropriately you too can add more meaning to your relationship.
What follows are the 3 sure signs that she really loves you and wants it to work. And by ‘love’ here, I mean genuine love, not the euphoric head over heels love that typically characterizes a phase of romantic relationships.
She understands and accepts you for who you are:
This is the most essential and healthy sign of genuine real-world love. It lets you know that she is really interested in you as you are and not some romanticized/fantasized version of a partner, and she sees you as a real person and not just some object to be admired.
You should, however, know that nothing stops people who accept you as you are from wanting or encouraging you to be a better version of yourself. So, the fact that she nonetheless tries to push you to be better does not mean her acceptance isn’t genuine.
Like in everything else there is always room for improvement, and if someone cares enough to encourage you to begin the journey into becoming the best version of you, then there is a good chance she will also be patient and supportive as you undertake your journey.
Acceptance and understanding in relationships make a lot of forgiveness possible which, is absolutely vital for enduring relationships. For instance, understanding helps people to sometimes realize that some of the hurtful (not abusive!) things their partners do are not necessarily malicious.
Acceptance and understanding also bestow on your significant other the ability to lift you up whenever you are down because they can easily brighten your day instantly with just the right words because they know what makes you tick.
This is the point where you take a breath and thank your lucky stars that you have found someone who accepts you for who you are despite your flaws. You should return some of that acceptance and understanding. And is it not ironic that the acceptance of the flaws you may have been worried about, now help you realize your significant other really cares about you?
She cares about how you feel:
If she is someone who always follows through on her promises to you and also takes the trouble to explain when she can’t, then she really cares about how you feel. People who love you will always care about how you feel.
This is can be reinforced by empathy. Empathy is found at the heart of enduring relationships. Therefore, real love usually involves some degree of empathy. Its presence always enhances the positive ways you react to each other’s feelings. Empathy also guards against excessive hurtful criticism that can corrode the very foundations of a relationship and other inappropriate reactions to certain situations. Empathy makes it impossible for partners to turn a blind eye to each other’s struggles.
Granted, loving someone doesn’t automatically guarantee empathy will result but it is a skill that can be developed, honed, and practiced.
So if you don’t already, you should start practicing a little empathy by learning to put yourself in her shoes. This will go a long way in providing some of the much-needed reciprocity in your relationship that you can both benefit from.
She is always willing to be there for you:
This sign is often overlooked but is always a reassuring one It lets you know that you are not alone either when you are faced with some of life’s challenges or celebrating your wins. If you find she is always available physically and emotionally then take it as a good sign that her love is real. Her constant presence with helpful action and kind words of advice, praise, or encouragement tell you her love is genuine.
And if she is there for you even in your absence, like when she defends your actions or reputation under circumstances you don’t have the opportunity to do so yourself then know that you have struck gold! Such support should be appreciated and honored by especially by reciprocation.
Support is essential in any enduring healthy relationship. So you need to be there for her as she is there for you. You need to always show up with the attention, help, encouragement, respect, affection, appreciation, and compliments that she needs because, as she has shown you, she is worth it.
Giving back is one secret of many enduring relationships that should never be overlooked. This is why recognizing the signs is important. If they are there then it is love, and you need to reciprocate.
On the flip side if she is the only one doing all the giving, as the presence of these signs should tell you, then such a relationship is in imminent danger of failing and you would have lost a beautiful thing.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Dhaya Eddine Bentaleb on Unsplash