My thirty-eighth birthday was three months ago. But three months ago, I was knee-deep in the trenches of the saltiest divorce in history.
Nevertheless, I feel compelled to get this piece out of my drafts and into the world today. I’m holding on to the high hope that these 38 nuggets of knowledge remain useful.
- Life is what you make it. It has little to do with your age.
- Only having sex with one partner your whole life is sustainable (with the right amount of creativity, comfort, and mutual respect). Lots of (safe) sex with multiple partners is fun and more than okay too.
- Love works when you work for it, and sometimes that doesn’t even work.
- Playing a musical instrument is nourishment for your soul. It will save you from yourself any day that ends in “Y”.
- People in your life showed their true colors a long time ago, but you’ll keep trying to repaint them (and giving them the benefit of the doubt) until your 38th birthday.
- Happiness is right where you left it all these years —inside.
- I will be a biker, a hiker, and crossfitter for as long as my knees and hips allow it.
- Writing every day makes you smile more, cry (a little) less, feel a shit-ton lighter, and live longer.
- Going through a divorce is wretched. Being divorced (and a successful single mom) isn’t.
- Money can’t buy happiness — but squirreling away sizeable savings couldn’t hurt either. You never know when you’re going to need it.
- The first pit stop on the road to Happiness is Grateful-town. (Could I BE any more cheesy? *Chandler voice*)
- Body piercings are much easier to remove than tattoos.
- Respect your elders — hard stop.
- The less you wear a bra (and pants), the happier you’ll be.
- If you can’t get out of the house every day, every other day is a must. Go for a walk, a hike, a skip. Do something in the sunshine and fresh air.
- You will get by a little help from your friends.
- Sometimes in love, it lasts, but sometimes it hurts instead. (Thanks, Adele)
- Vitamin D is good for the soul.(Yes, both kinds.)
- I haven’t had sex in six months, and I’m okay with that (for now).
- Get a lawyer. It’s hard to fathom at first. I know. Do it anyway. You’ll thank yourself later.
- Loving someone enough to let them go (and wishing them health and happiness along their journey) is true love.
- Work hard, play harder, and take care of yourself.
- Do your best — even if you fail.
- Check your ego at the door and don’t burn bridges (unless it’s vital for your mental health.)
- Wake up early(ish), get dressed, and go workout. (You will also thank yourself later for this one.)
- Put your oxygen mask on first.
- Eat your protein, a crap-ton of veggies, some fruit, and soak your clothes in sweat five days a week. You will be unstoppable.
- Sometimes, the only option you have is to stop resisting.
- In a world where you can be anything, be kind. (Thank you, whoever wrote this.)
- Cut your hair already. It will grow back healthier and with less “I’m going through a divorce” split ends.
- You find out who your friends are when you get divorced. (It’s blatantly obvious.)
- Life’s a beach; buy some cushy sandals, lather on that sunscreen, and soak up the sun.
- Love is free, love me, say, hell, yes! (Anthony Kiedis had it right all along.)
- Life goes on after divorce.
- Every night, before you fall asleep, forgive everyone (including yourself) for everything. Nothing is worth holding yourself hostage over.
- Self-love is the best kind of love. (Another cheesy one for you.)
- Sweet and dirty sex is the best combo.
- Hydrate.
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Previously Published on Medium
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