Society asks a lot of women. Many cultures grow women up to be super hard on themselves.
Every successful title of a woman has become associated with guilt. Internalizing world expectations has made us feel guilty in all ways possible. Yet, when a woman gives up her independence, she does not receive as much shame.
Think about it.
The terms homemaker, trophy wife, stay-at-home-girlfriend, and stay-at-home-mom are all aspirational. Women should want these titles for themselves. Every other name tag has an element of guilt.
Yesterday, I watched a viral video.
The toddler slipped down two stairs. His dad was close by and caught the child before anything terrible happened. Context: The stairs only had three steps. The dad felt relief after saving the kid and refocused on what he was doing before. The mom? She felt more overwhelmed and covered her face as she lay on the grass further away. The caption? It could have been worse. Comments: Classic dad save.
She left the child in the dad’s care. Yet, the woman still feels terrible about what happened. These heavy emotions lead women to sacrifice a lot for their relationships. Thus, younger females consider some choices hot.
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#1. Depend on a man
The stay-at-home mom niche shifted into a different focus. Many have blogs telling others like themselves how to make money online.
These older women don’t want to head back into offices. But they also don’t want to depend on a man either. Society doesn’t like independent women.
So, the entertainment industry is making this lifestyle hip again.
In comes the Harry Styles movie, “Don’t Worry Darling.”. And all year, the stay-at-home girlfriend culture grew on TikTok. Media sells the same idea. Stay home, pamper yourself, look pretty before dinner, and act excited when the man comes home.
But where will these women live if things go south? What will be of their pensions and retirement funds? What will they use as years of working experience?
Photo by Stephany Lorena on Unsplash
#2. Care for others
Powerful women often say people feel threatened by them. They have fewer friends. They also have to be careful who they choose as a partner.
A higher percentage of women choose service-giving degrees, especially nursing.
It is “attractive” for women to be in less powerful, domineering roles. Society wants them to carry emotional weight. This burden makes them feel less, which causes these women to be more approachable.
But when older, women face age discrimination. Employers want younger-looking nurses, receptionists, and salespeople. Women also quit more because they overuse their empath qualities in these jobs.
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#3. Be collateral
I used to be a person who thought delegation meant trusting someone with a task. You can delegate without micromanaging and still be aware of what is happening.
Despite that, the world has plenty passenger and financial princesses.
Many women share stories about delegating tasks to their men. Then, celebrate how simple life has become. It is one less concern for them. But some men use this to defraud their partners. In 2022, several men took their lovers on vacation, intending to kill them. Afterward, they would try to collect life insurance.
The most recent case happened in Southern Turkey. A man pushed his pregnant wife off a cliff for life insurance. The duo was on vacation.
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#4. Pick the older (married) guy
This choice is helpful until it isn’t. The woman will have several friends who judge her. The woman either cuts off her circle. Or have them drift away because they cannot relate to her lifestyle.
This lifestyle is sexy (to some) until they develop regrets. Depression and poor mental health also affect the relationship, causing further issues.
It seems hot to be happy in your relationship and not need other friends. But interaction with other humans aids your mental health. It is not empowering being all alone in your world.
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Quick Relief
Lots of behaviors lose their appeal after a woman gets older.
You are in control. You can turn things around if you regret an earlier choice.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Felix Uresti on Unsplash