Jordan Gray says that these simple, easy habits can transform the quality of your intimate relationship.
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Sometimes you see couples that seem to click in a certain way. You never see them get frustrated with one another. They’re always kissing and touching in public. They constantly look like they’re having the most fun possible. I know… they’re the worst.
But the truth is, a lot of work goes on behind the scenes to get them to being in that kind of place every day. They aren’t going home, sitting in the dark and expressing their feelings to one another all night long. It’s actually a lot simpler than that.
When it comes to our intimate relationships, it’s the little things that make or break you.
On the negative side of things, the little things that bother you about your partner can pile up and eventually dissolve the relationship. He always forgets his keys at work. She leaves her dishes in the sink.
But, if you are doing all the little things to positively influence your relationship, it can essentially wipe away all the negative things. You too can be that disgusting couple in the back booth, at the restaurant, who doesn’t seem to realize there are other people in the universe.
Touch Each Other
I cannot express the importance of this enough.
I don’t believe in people who say they don’t like public displays of affection. To me it sounds like they’re just worried about people judging them. Because really… what else would it be?
If you don’t love your partner enough to kiss, hug, grab, butt slap them in public, it means you’re prioritizing the public. And you don’t even know them.
Everyone needs touch. It’s a strange thing. But we do. Animals who receive less physical affection tend to be underdeveloped and overall less happy than those who receive regular touch in their developmental years.
Even those who suffer from autism and other disorders that make human touch less desirable to them can still be calmed with use of a device called a ‘hugging machine’. Which is literally exactly what it sounds like.
Bottom line, the more you and your partner engage in physical touch, the more happy loving chemicals will be released in your bodies, and you’ll like each other. It’s like your tricking them into loving you, but with hugs!
So get over that little trigger that says ‘People are watching, I can’t kiss you,’ because you know what those people are thinking about? Themselves. Always. I promise… you’re not that important.
Gratitude
You know the number one thing that leads to happy productive employees? Positive feedback. But not just any positive feedback. Frequent positive feedback.
Psychologist Ron Friedman discusses in his book The Best Place To Work, “Business feedback indicates that smaller frequent positive feedback and rewards will keep people happy longer than a single large infrequent happy event. ”
This isn’t just true for business, it’s true for humans. We’re more likely to stay happy if we know that we’re on the right path and that we’re being appreciated.
Showing daily gratitude to your partner is essential for a thriving relationship.
You should never assume your partner ‘just knows’ how you feel about them. And even if they do, it’s something they’ll never get sick of hearing. Well…unless you’re just repeating ‘I love you‘ for hours at a time. That may be overkill.
Next: “Unbreakable Dates”
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Great advice, Jordan.