In some situations, raising a child who speaks more than one language is a virtual necessity. In other situations, it could be considered a privilege, or perhaps even a luxury.
Regardless of how you classify multilingualism, it’s a reality for over half of the world’s population, including a rapidly growing number of children and families in the U.S.
The months and years during which children learn to use words and sentences are an exciting time. But for parents who expose their children to multiple languages, this verbal development period takes on an open-ended quality that can also spark apprehension and anxiety.
What does a good balance of encouragement and patience look like? What if I can’t understand what my child is saying? Am I doing this right?
These questions (especially the last one) are what many parents of multilingual children find themselves asking. In an environment of uncertainty, there are – thankfully – at least a few things you can count on.
Brace Yourself for These 4 Situations
You’ll Feel Left Out
If a child is exposed to a multilingual home life from birth, it’s most often due to parents who have different native tongues. If this is the case, then your partner probably communicates to your child in that language – which you may understand very little of.
As a result, there are likely to be many instances in which you’re left “out of the loop” with regard to what’s being said. Even if only for a moment, you’re cut off from your family. These small moments of isolation may go unnoticed, but can gradually creep up in the form of resentment or self-pity.
Best thing to do? Try to accept that this is part of parenting in a multilingual home. No one is intentionally causing you to have these feelings, and dwelling on them won’t make you feel any better.
You’ll Receive Lots of Unsolicited Advice
Chances are, friends and family will be excited about your child learning more than one language. And whether they’ve been in your shoes or not, it’s likely they’ll have some well-intentioned ideas about the “right” way of doing things.
In some cases, they may give good advice. Other times, they may have no idea what they’re talking about. Regardless, it can be annoying when you never asked them to begin with.
Best thing to do? Try to remind yourself that they mean well, and giving advice is probably their way of talking to you about something that interests them. You can always smile, nod, and laugh it off when they’re gone.
You’ll Get Frustrated with Your Partner
Sometimes your partner will jump into a conversation that you’re having with your child. In a single-language home, that’s just part of parenting. When you’re interrupted in a different language, however, and suddenly excluded from the discussion, don’t be surprised if you suddenly feel a little angry.
This can be especially pertinent when the conversation is one you feel strongly about – like one that revolves around rules, boundaries, or expectations.
Best thing to do? Talk to your partner about this, and plan for these scenarios in advance. There’s no “right” way to have a family discussion, but they’re guaranteed to be more productive if neither parent undermines the other.
Your Child Will Seem “Behind” in Some Way
The idea that bilingualism leads to speech delays in children has been widely reported as a myth. However, there is evidence that such delays are actually common. For the most part, children who speak multiple languages tend to catch up with their monolingual peers around the time they begin school.
Still, you might find yourself worried about the size of their vocabulary, the clarity of their speech, or some other aspect of verbal development. All their language-learning is happening in duplicate, after all, so there may be some things that fall between the cracks.
Best thing to do? Be patient. As long as you can communicate effectively with your child, the rest will come – and nothing else really matters anyway.
You Won’t Regret It
The frustration and anxiety that can accompany raising multilingual children can feel tiring. It may even seem overwhelming in certain moments. In the end, though, those moments will be largely forgotten, and totally worth it.
For your child, the benefits of knowing more than one language will be extensive. Beyond just the ability to communicate with a larger number of people, language grants a lifelong cultural connection – and a substantial resume booster.
The benefits extend to the parents as well. In all likelihood, you’ll end up learning much more of your child’s second language than you imagined, just by being around it. More importantly, you’ll have accepted a major test of relationships and parenting – and passed with flying colors.
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