I have heard the saying “nice guys finish last” for as long as I can remember. Let me tell you something, it’s true. So, if you continually are losing the girl you love to some other guy, it doesn’t automatically mean that he is bad. It also doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with the woman for choosing him over you. Get your head out of their business and start improving yourself, so it does not happen again. It all comes down to taking responsibility for your situation.
Based on my observations and experience, only being a “nice” guy will most likely not get you the woman. Just being nice is like an MMA fighter who only uses punches to win the fight. He will get taken out by the well-rounded fighter who utilizes an assortment of diverse techniques developed over time. So here are some quick tips to get you on the right path to becoming a well-rounded.
Be sincere, while bringing value.
There is a vast difference between flattery and genuine, meaningful compliments. Don’t just tell her things that you think she wants to hear. Take some time to get to know every small detail about her. What does she take pride in? What is important to her? And use that intimate information to give her sincere, meaningful compliments when appropriate.
She is not dumb, it will be recognized if you are just spouting off a bunch of compliments, and then expecting her to fall in love with you. While being sincere, you must simultaneously bring value to her life (this has nothing to do with money). Simply put, you must be creative, and make her life easier, she should never have to deal with any stress or drama caused by you. Any nice guy can tell her that she is beautiful; you must dig deeper while being valuable.
Don’t be a pushover.
Good men are nice, but they are not pushovers. I have observed men who enjoy broadcasting that they are “nice” guys, and how they are always “finishing last.” Most of them share a common trait–they are PUSHOVERS!
You don’t have to agree with every word that she says, and you don’t have to cave when there is a disagreement. A woman will respect you more if you have a backbone and are capable of being respectful when sharing a differing point of view. Any nice guy can be a pushover, you must have a backbone.
Work on becoming the man she wants.
What do most women want? Well, if you take the time to talk to some single women, the majority will say they want a “good man.” So, instead of being sad all the time, and talking about how nice you are, and how women only want the “bad guys,” dedicate yourself to constant self-improvement. Get in the gym, start working out. Read some books to improve your conversation skills, get some goals, so you have more to talk about than the new Xbox game that was just released. Nice guys are average, you must be exceptional.
It should always be in your brain that you are competing against every other guy out there. If you don’t make yourself extraordinary, you will vanish like a cheap magic trick. To accomplish this, you must take the time to learn every possible small detail about her, and then use those details to make every encounter with her memorable. If you make yourself memorable, she will be talking about you to her friends and family when you are not around. Nice guys become an afterthought, you must be constantly thought about.
Don’t get caught up in the delusion that you are a nice guy, and that women only want bad guys. If you are consistently losing out to other men in the women department, a hard, brutally honest inventory of your life needs to be performed. Get started today, put in the work, and you will be the good man that earns the women when competing against all the guys out there.
Am I wrong or am I right? Let me know how you feel in the comments.
Photo: Flickr/ Rob Wright