Let’s face it: no one wants to appear unattractive to a potential date. We all want to appear desirable to our potential partners.
Although it is logically impossible to attract every beautiful lady you meet or to be the most attractive human being there is, we can at least hope to attract and date the right partner for us.
However, we are the ones who make things difficult for ourselves and our partners by adopting and displaying habits that are pointless, energy-draining, and even unproductive.
What’s the worst part?
Some of these habits only cause problems in our love lives and make us appear unattractive to our love interest in the present.
There are many such habits, but today I’ll only discuss behaviors that are nothing more than a lack of love for oneself and a lack of knowledge of one’s own worth and value. This causes problems in our love lives and can make us appear unattractive in the presence of our love interest.
So, if you’re acting in one, a few, or all of these ways, breaking the habit could change your entire love life for the better and make you more likable.
1. Giving up interests to fit in.
How happy will you be if you succumb to the widespread desire to belong or to be liked and take on interests, pastimes, routines, and even personalities that aren’t your own to attract a love interest?
It’s likely that you won’t experience true happiness.
Yes, relationships grow naturally based on substantial levels of similarity, including, of course, interests. However, pretending to be someone you’re not because you believe your love interest will find that appealing will guarantee that you won’t be truly happy and you won’t appear likable.
The bad news is that you’ll end up losing who you are and your identity, which means you’ll also lose your sense of self and value. This is not good for your overall well-being. The good news is that you are under no obligation to stop engaging in activities you found enjoyable when you were single.
Because you only have one life to live, and it would be a shame to lose it trying to change who you are to suit a prospective partner or be likable,
What to do about this:
It is impossible to overstate the value of living a separate life and having a distinct identity. Because it stabilizes your well-being and allows your love life to flow freely.
In addition, being who you are is the best. This suggests that everyone involved keeps to their pre-engagement routines.
You shouldn’t stop engaging in your passions and hobbies because of this. Even better would be to find some new ones. As your prospective partner discusses their hobbies, you can talk about yours. Because hiding yours exudes insecurity and implies that your hobbies and interests aren’t worthwhile.
2. Taking her too seriously.
It makes no sense for someone to allow themselves to be manipulated and take their potential date too seriously out of a pure desire to appear likable.
We are all aware that treating a love interest seriously can strengthen bonds between people by demonstrating our appreciation and respect for them.
It is risky to take her seriously to the extent that you could be subjected to abuse by a needy or even abusive lover.
It’s neither wrong nor improper to take her seriously. However, treating her too seriously to the point where you put her needs above all else will always turn you into a puppet for needy and tyrannical people who will make it seem as though you aren’t meeting their needs. And in the process, you’ll come off as ugly and lose some of your appeals to them.
What to do about this:
While I don’t want to discourage you from taking your romantic partner seriously, I do want to point out that you don’t have to appear desperate in order to be liked because that will have the opposite effect. Instead, I urge you to learn how to set your own boundaries so that you don’t come across as disparate.
Because taking your potential mate too seriously in an effort to seem likable is a clear sign that you have neglected self-care, which is a crucial component if you want to be more attractive.
And the reality is that if you do not set a limit for yourself, you’ll always use up energy and might not get enough in return.
3. Being unemotional
The surest way to be or appear unattractive to a prospective partner is by bottling up your feelings.
If you act like and stay calm without expressing anything you’re making things more complicated, difficult for them to understand,
Keeping mute and pretending to be okay with every single thing will women see you as a robotic and unrealistic human.
No woman would prefer an unemotional, indifferent, and never-express kind of a guy over one who doesn’t see it as a big deal to show some play-annoyance after being teased.
What to do about this:
The blunt truth is that life is too short to always bottle up and avoid telling people how you feel when they strike a particular hurtful chord or about an uncomfortable situation. That’s why you should always open up and express your feelings to attract the right partner for yourself.
4. Being superficial
Imagine a man who, despite giving it his all and appearing to be what every man can’t resist, simply doesn’t understand why he always ends up single. However, the truth is that all he really does is:
Love being the center of attention.
Never give in to pressure to make something work.
A propensity for materialism.
Would any woman find such a man appealing?
Most likely not.
But far too frequently, we think, act, and behave in ways that are blatantly indicative of low self-esteem. Most people commit the mistake of conforming to various standards in an attempt to win over their love interest, and as a result, they end up portraying personalities that are nothing more than a total lack of self-worth, self-value, and self-esteem.
However, the notion that you must adhere to certain standards in order for your significant other to fall in love with you prevents the majority of people from experiencing the kinds of relationships they so desperately want.
What to do about this:
The key to being likable is to truly believe in your value, not how well you act or behave. that despite not meeting any standards, you deserve love and affection. And that you don’t have to make accommodations or conform in order to be loved.
The best thing to do to attract the right partner for you is to be yourself.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
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 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Calvin Lupiya on Unsplash
