I was living my dream. I had an established career working in an industry and with clients that I loved. Unlike others in my generation, I passionately worked for the same company for 18 years. The founder of the company recruited me personally out of school and I always wanted to do well by him. My contributions over the years were recognized with both partnership status and promotions, including three years of service as the CEO/Managing Director—a role I assumed from my mentor as he approached retirement. I completed my term with the company achieving record performance and profitability.
Then I was terminated at the beginning of Father’s Day weekend without advance notice or cause. The employment agreement I signed fresh out school offered me little protection other than a 3-month period of continued employment. As I worked out my contract and looked for what was next, it was stressful and devastating to say the least; my whole world felt like it had crashed down and I was at rock bottom.
That is, until I nearly died from a stroke. I spent two weeks, and had four more strokes, in intensive care while the doctors worked to identify the underlying cause of the strokes in this healthy Ironman, Cross-Fitting patient. The rockstar neurosurgeon overseeing my care ultimately identified the cause as a rare genetic vascular disease called moyamoya and brain surgery was the only option to avoid the possibility of being further incapacitated with stroke after stroke until one of them finally killed me.
I was grateful that the surgery was a great success and, after 25 days, I was discharged to start the next chapter in my life. I was doubly motivated to pay my gratitude forward and share what has made me who I am with my two teenage boys; a lesson for each trip this now 44 year old stroke survivor has been lucky enough to make around the sun:
1. Be vulnerable.
2. Love yourself.
3. Give good hugs.
4. Show your affection.
5. Be in touch with your feelings.
6.Cry when you need to.
7. Talk about your emotions.
8. Love freely.
9. Find a partner or partners that challenge you to be the best version of yourself.
10. Live gratefully.
11. Set detailed intentions.
12. Reflect on your life’s purpose.
13. When faced with a huge challenge, focus on the work in front of you.
14. Use adversity to make you stronger.
15. Be financially responsible and live within your means.
16. Use debt sparingly, preferably only on things that appreciate in value.
17. Practice abundance.
18. Share freely and openly.
19. Don’t be afraid to break rules that are stupid.
20. Be careful when setting expectations
21. Follow your passion to love what you do.
22. When you fall, or make an error, smile.
23. Find the most beautiful, efficient, and simplest solution to the problem.
24. Use the Oxford comma.
25. Be best friends with your brother (one of my few regrets is that I am not).
26. When working with others, use “we” not “I”.
27. Being a leader can be lonely and thankless. Do it anyway.
28. Suck it up when you need to.
29. Show your integrity.
30. Show your body love with exercise and good food.
31. Work hard, play hard.
32. Celebrate the accomplishments of others.
33. Integrate people’s wisdom into your own life.
34. Practice stoicism.
35. Don’t play victim to your circumstances.
36. Cultivate the sisu within you.
37. Intentionally breathe through your darkest moments.
38. Use “woman” not “girl” for all females over 18.
39. Honor your roots but don’t let them hold you down.
40. Find the flow and stay there.
41. Seize opportunity.
42. Be inspired and show your passion without hesitation.
43. Learn to speak in front of an audience.
44. If you ever need help, ask. You can start with me.
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—Photo Credit: Author