We all go through those feelings of like and appreciation for people who you know that are out of reach for a reason or another. Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. defined it as an impossible love.
It’s hard to admit that it’s a one-sided relationship that will end up distracting you from reality. It can also be a method of escaping from the reality, the loneliness that makes our mind picture this relationship as the solution.
I always had a hope that my “unreachable love” will be in love with my creative thoughts, so I used to start my articles or my Facebook post with this sentence:
To that special someone, I wish you are reading my articles to know that your beloved lady is a blogger.
Let’s take a moment and imagine that he is reading this. By the way, he is not the one. Well, I discovered this the hard way: The one theory may be an enormous lie, a perspective of a person! We build it in our head that end up being a tremendous disappointment!
He is so unreachable, out of your reach. Maybe he is too old, living on the other side of the world, too young, too something that makes it possible to involve in a serious relationship.
The side effect that you keep imagining your life together. Daydreaming about how your living would be perfect if you were in a relationship.
Every video you watch makes you wonder. Will you have the chance to be with that human and experience those memorable occasions? Every romance book takes you on a trip of fancy you are the heroes of the book, wishing that you live this adventure in authentic life.
I once stopped reading a book where the hero reminded me of an impossible love!
Shocking advice: you must stop doing it.
First fact: it’s not healthy
You are living in a parallel world. Envisaging things that may damage your mental health because you will end up being disappointed.
You will keep repeating this scenario until you convince your mind with it, and then it’s shocking when you realize that it’s not real.
Second fact: No, there is no happy ending
It’s all in your mind! And it’s built on your fantasy. Dreaming of the stereotypes of love like the ideal partner, the love of your life, soul mate, the one.
Your mind makes you picture that impossible love like the hero. Who is going to save your life, or who is going to help reach your dreams? Who is going to complete that missing part of your life?
Shocking truth: they won’t.
Third fact: it goes with time
Giving up on impossible things is something we must do daily and regarding love, it cannot be less. It can be a crush that will disappear with time. It’s temporary: experts say that crushes last less than 4 months. So it will end sooner than you notice.
Time will heal you! Trust me.
Fourth fact: it’s not your fault, neither his:
This is a funny fact because most of the time, the other part does not know about your feelings. So you can’t blame them! What you can do is stop checking their social media every time you miss them.
You must be conscious it’s a non-winning game from the beginning. And you have an enormous responsibility in letting your feelings guide you.
Fifth fact: Trying to start a new habit may help:
Maybe all this was because of the space in your life that you wanted to fill? Did you think about doing something new as a sort of innovation in your daily life? Start reading books or do yoga to have a methodical mind.
. . .
Final thoughts:
Having considerable feelings for an individual is so noble and generous, but getting involved in a one-sided contact is so heartbreaking because you have no authority over it.
It’s not straightforward to assure yourself that this will not lead to anything, but at least do it for entertainment and don’t take it intensely. Don’t settle for less because you worth better.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Wright Brand Bacon on Unsplash