If you want to attract an amazing partner you first need to look in the mirror.
It was none other than Albert Einstein who shared ingenious advice for young men everywhere:
“Try not to become a man of success. Rather, try to become a man of value.”
Eureka. Leave it to Albert to nail it again.
No two ways about it, as younger men, we’re often all about winning.
From work and sports to our efforts with women and dating, the immature man’s driving forces are (usually) instant gratification and conquest. He’s always at the ready to shift into beast mode to “win” and get what he wants.
And Albert would probably agree, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only natural.
But here’s the thing:
When it comes to creating a passionate, fulfilling, lasting love relationship with the one, most-amazing woman of our dreams, the whole game changes.
That kind of woman is looking for very specific qualities in a man – qualities that communicate his value as a mature, in-control partner who’s capable of sharing and contributing to her life, love, and dreams.
When she doesn’t “feel” these qualities in a guy, it’s game over. She moves on.
Yet, not too surprisingly, the immature “boy-man” is totally tone-deaf to this reality. He approaches love in the same way that he approaches everything else in life: with a laser focus on achieving “victory.”
It doesn’t take a genius IQ to know that this is a formula for disaster.
That in mind, here are 5 sure signs that you’ve finally left your immature “boy-man” behind to become the kind of mature, “real” man who’s ready for the relationship of his dreams:
Your House Is In Order
We’re not talking about taking out the trash here (although that always helps.) We’re talking about committing to an “emotional” housecleaning that welcomes and invites an amazing woman into your life.
True maturity means a willingness to sacrifice instant gratification for greater, longer-term reward. It’s about being independent and in-control, but it’s also about being ready to give things up and let them go.
So really think about it. Are you ready to give up that leather couch from college? Those epic XBox battles? The all-day Netflix marathons? So that you can be totally present for your partner in life and love?
Show a great woman that you’re genuinely capable of doing it, and she’ll begin to sense it – you may actually be the kind of mature, relationship-ready man she’s been searching for!
You’re A Rock
Be brutally honest — do you still throw little tantrums when things don’t go your way? Pout over petty disappointments? Get knocked out of the box by life’s little curveballs?
If so, a great woman sees it from a mile away, and it makes her run for the hills. The last things she needs in her life is another boy-man to babysit.
On the other hand, a mature, relationship-ready man understands that life is what happens while you make other plans. He stands tough in the face of adversity, rolls with the punches, and shakes off failure because he knows life brings plenty of both.
For a great woman looking for a lasting partner in love, finding these rock-solid qualities in a relationship partner is priceless.
You’re Strong Enough To Surrender
As we talked about, the immature “boy-man” is constantly trying to prove himself and win every battle, usually in an endless struggle just to feel good about himself.
Becoming a real, mature man means giving up the need to conquer and vanquish and being okay with letting others get their way.
Once you feel inside that you don’t have to “crush it” all day long and show that you have all the answers, you’ll begin reacting to the world like a man who knows his worth.
It’s this kind of mature, real-man confidence that creates space, trust and appreciation in a relationship… also known as the rarest, most valuable of treasures when it comes to the kind of relationship-ready man that every great woman is looking for.
You’re A PeaceMaker
Disagreement and conflict are part of life. It’s how you handle them that makes all the difference to a great woman.
The “boy-man” often creates conflict where there is none. He disagrees just to prove his value or superiority. He has protect his turf and ratchet things up to feel like a real man.
The mature, relationship-ready man recognizes this stuff for the destructive ridiculousness that it really is. He’s all about dialing back conflict, adding value, and generally helping a situation instead.
Within the context of a relationship, a man who is a peacemaker is the Holy Grail that every great woman wants as a life partner. His centeredness and strength create safe space for growth and exploration in love… the cornerstones of a thriving relationship.
You Have A Purpose
They say that life is short, and that the “good times” are even shorter.
That’s why a great woman will move mountains to share her life with a man who knows what he wants and is clearly in the process of trying to get it.
She craves being with a partner with whom she can grow and explore. She’s magnetically drawn to a man whose passions are new and exciting to her. She knows she can grow and learn with him, making every moment even more valuable.
So, know what your purpose is in life and always be pursuing it. Explore your natural gifts to the fullest. Immerse yourself in the things you’re good at and passionate about.
A great woman knows instinctively that these are the signs of a mature, relationship-ready man, the kind that she’ll literally throw all others aside to be with.
After all, it’s just like Albert said: success in life (and love) is about becoming a man of value. So ask yourself, are you still allowing the “boy-man” inside of you to leak out and run things? Or, is the feeling that you carry around inside of you one of strength, purpose, and authenticity?
Photo: Getty Images