If you’ve ever had a health scare or been on the other side of one, you know that it’s an emotionally taxing experience. You worry about what caused it and how long it will take to recover. It’s normal to feel stressed out — but if your feelings go beyond that, then your relationship with mental health could be toxic.
A toxic relationship with mental health isn’t always obvious. For one, you may not realize that you have a psychological disorder or experience symptoms of one. And since we live in a society where mental illness is often stigmatized, it can be hard to find the right person to talk about what’s going on. Moreover, many people with mental illness are reluctant to seek help from medical professionals or even their loved ones because they don’t want them seeing them as weak — or worse: “crazy.” But your relationship with your own well-being should never be kept secret. If something feels off about the way you’re treating yourself or others, here are five red flags that may indicate something deeper:
You Only Consider Your Mental Health When It’s At Its Worst
The first thing to know about mental health is that it’s a lifelong journey. As such, you should be taking care of yourself every day of your life. If you only consider your mental health when it’s at its worst and therefore most vulnerable, you’re not doing yourself any favors by hoping that one day will be the day everything magically gets better. You’ll only feel worse when things don’t improve. You need to take time each day to tend to your mind.
You Talk About Your Mental Health In Terms Of A Diagnosis
It’s not uncommon for people to use their diagnostic label as a shorthand for talking about their symptoms, but this can quickly become problematic if you feel that the label defines who you are or how others perceive you. If you’re constantly talking about which diagnosis applies to your problem, it might be time to consider how much control over your life the label has.
You Use Negative Language To Talk About Your Mental Health
When you use negative language to talk about your mental health, it sends a clear message: You don’t think it’s okay for you to feel this way. A person who cares about you will understand that having mental health problems does not make them any less of a person or worthy of love, respect and care. They’ll also know that if they say something hurtful or dismissive about your experience, they’re contributing to the problem instead of helping solve it.
So how can we tell if our relationships with those around us are toxic? Pay attention to how often we use words like “crazy” or “insane” when describing our experiences with mental illness — especially when talking with others who have similar conditions — then try replacing these words with more positive ones like “depressed,” “sad,” anxious,” stressed.” If there are still negative connotations attached to these words in your mind then maybe it’s time for some more work on self-acceptance.
You Feel Guilty About Taking Care Of Yourself
If you find yourself feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, it could be a sign of a toxic relationship with mental health. You may feel guilty about the amount of energy or money you spend on things that are solely for your benefit, such as massages, pedicures and haircuts.
When doing things like this make you feel guilty, this is a sign that something is wrong with your relationship with yourself and your mental health. If you can’t focus on taking care of yourself because doing so makes you feel bad about who you are as a person, then that’s not healthy.
You Talk About Your Mental Health As Something Dirty Or Embarrassing
You feel ashamed or embarrassed about your mental health. If you’re experiencing a mental illness, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how others will react. But if you go out of your way to hide the fact that you have a mental illness and always say things like, “I’m fine” when asked how you are, it’s likely that this tells other people something important about how they should treat your condition.
You only talk about it when feeling at your worst. If someone has been checking in on you regularly since they found out about the depression or anxiety issues they know are affecting their relationship with their partner, but then suddenly stop reaching out because they don’t want to bother them anymore — this is usually an indicator of toxic behavior by both people involved in the relationship.
When you think about your mental health, it can be helpful to remember that it’s only taboo if we allow it to be. It shouldn’t make you afraid or ashamed of yourself, and it definitely shouldn’t make you feel like a burden on others. The takeaway here is simply that if you find yourself experiencing any of these signs in your relationship with mental health, it may be time for a change.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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