Leanne Quinn debunks the myth of what women want.
Common Misconception #1: Women don’t know what they want.
Common Misconception #2: Women can’t decide what they want.
Common Misconception #3: Women are never happy.
We may be a fickle sex when it comes to our hair color, body image, wardrobe, shoes and career, but when it comes to men, we know what we want, despite popular belief. What women want is so simple, but because of its rarity, we’re classified as being fussy and impossible to please. Well, that’s just not the case.
What do women want when it comes to a relationship? Nothing different than what any man wants from one.
Nobody likes a power-struggle. Nobody wants to be controlled or to have control over someone else. And, nobody wants to be the reason for anyone else having low self-esteem, self-confidence or self-worth.
If you disagree with anything I’ve just said, then it’s not a relationship you need; it’s counseling. When it comes to meaningful and fulfilling relationships, the qualities men look for in women mirror those that women want, too.
Ultimately, a woman wants to feel completely and utterly loved by her other half. Is that so much to ask?
To win over a girl, you need not shower her with expensive gifts, be unbelievably attractive or wildly successful. While those kinds of things may initially catch her eye, there are plenty of successful, attractive guys out there to replace one who doesn’t hold his own.
So, to answer the question, here are five qualities women most certainly want when it comes to their potential partners:
Aretha Franklin hit the nail on the head long ago, lads: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respecting a girl does not mean being respectful when she’s around, but as soon as she leaves the room, going into explicit detail of how she rocked your world the night before.
We get that it’s not exactly the coolest thing in the world to shout from the rooftops how head-over-heels you are for a girl, but that’s not what we’re asking. It takes serious balls to stand up to a bunch of lads and say you’re smitten, but if she’s really that special, say it.
Respect that your girl has a life of her own, friends and family with whom she wants to spend time, ambitions and career aspirations. Respect her goals, encourage her toward them, and you, too, could be part of not only your own journey, but also hers.
Respect your woman enough to tell her the truth, even if it ends in an argument. Respect your similarities, but more so, respect your differences.
It’s easy to be swallowed into the flock, to be one of the sheep, just one of the lads. It’s much harder, however, to stand on your own two feet. This goes for men and women alike. One of the most attractive things a man can do is to really know who he is.
Someone who knows where he stands, but more importantly, for what he doesn’t, even if it goes against the grain. A self-sufficient man who embraces his own ideals, values and beliefs is far more attractive than a boy who hasn’t yet distinguished himself from the crowd.
Whether his passion is health and fitness, traveling, music, a sports team, cars, a career or something as kooky as collecting beer bottles from other countries, passionate people are endearing. Their features light up; there’s a twinkle in their eyes and an infectious smile painted on their faces when they engage in conversation about their passions.
It’s so important for your own mental health to find something in life that provides meaning to your being here. Something that brings you happiness, confidence and purpose outside of a relationship; something that contributes to your own personal development can really be the standout quality that’s unique to you.
Passionate intimacy is another huge turn-on for women. So men, a little tip: If, out of nowhere, you think to kiss her, for no reason other than you felt the alarming urge to do so, don’t ignore the idea. Initiative, in its many forms, and spontaneity are what we love!
Make a girl laugh. Charm her with your natural wit, good humor and sunny outlook, and she’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible because she’ll feel good in your company. The ability to make someone laugh is an under-appreciated power that rests in the hands of many and is underutilized.
Humor isn’t just about making someone laugh, though; it’s the ability to make light of a situation. It’s the power to not take yourself too seriously, and it’s also a sign of great intelligence. A girl will always remember someone who made her smile.
A lot can be said for a man with confidence, a man who walks into a room and silently commands attention. Again, it’s knowing who you are and being unapologetic for it. Note that I’m suggesting confidence, not cockiness. But, what works for one woman just might not work for the next.
This is no different than how you may view the spectrum of sexiness and provocativeness; what one man may find sexy, another might find too provocative and vice versa.
Ultimately, what women want is very simple. While all the aforementioned traits are commonly desired qualities in a man, a woman wants someone she can trust wholly, someone who loves her unconditionally and whose loyalty will always be with her. If you can give her that, then you’re already an ideal partner.
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About the author
Leanne Quinn hails from the beautiful island of Ireland where drink, craic and good times define the nation. Studying Psychology at the University of Limerick, Leanne has always had a passion for people; their behaviours, thoughts, interactions, relationships and roles in society. She loves to travel and make stories of her own, meeting all kinds of beautiful people from all over the world. She believes that it is everybody’s responsibility to take control over their lives and set their own paths, not to follow that of anyone else; only then can you be truly happy. You can email her at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @LeanneCQuinn.
This article originally appeared on Elite Daily.
Photo credit: Joop van Dijk/flickr