We all desire success. We stay focused and work hard, but at what point does our professional life interfere with our personal life? If we are in a relationship, is there a line to be drawn when work begins to overflow into romance? It is important for many reasons to keep a healthy work/life (or in this case…love) balance.
As someone who writes from the male perspective, and also has many male friends in business, I have seen this problem present itself frequently.
Maybe you are stressed about meeting a deadline, or a quota, or your boss is breathing down your neck so hard that you can’t help but take your work home with you. Before you know it, you’re passing by your wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend in the hallway, and you start to wonder when the last time was that you really saw each other. When was the last time you actually went on a date?
We work hard to build a life, and when we are in a relationship, to build a life alongside a teammate. It doesn’t matter what stage of the relationship you are in—married or unmarried—the truth remains the same: We can never let our work kill our romance.
To do so is to forget one of the very reasons we are working hard in the first place. No matter how stellar an accomplishment, or goal we reach, it loses its luster if we have pushed away the person we wanted to share it with the most.
What are some signs you are letting your career kill your romance?
You’ve stopped making her feel beautiful.
It’s important to understand that making a woman feel beautiful does not just mean saying the words to her. It will mean truly making her feel beautiful. In the way you look at her, touch her, and treat her. Noticing small details she puts into her appearance and reminding her of how attractive you find her.
If your responsibilities from work are creeping into your mind at all hours of the day or night, it is easy to be distracted and overlook the small things. Taking a breath and doing your best to be present could be the lifeline your relationship needs.
You’ve stopped doing the little things.
Speaking of the little things…does she need a prescription filled but has to stay late at work? Did she mention an art exhibit coming to town and you made plans to take her to see it? Regardless of how small certain things seem, she will understand they are really the big things that matter most.
You’ve forgotten that actions speak louder than words.
A man who makes promises does not deserve her respect, a man who keeps his promises, does. Never let your work cause you to break commitments you’ve made to the woman you love.
You start to cross the line.
It is natural to have disagreements and even arguments in a relationship, particularly when one or both partners are stressed from everyday life—but there is no reason to make things personal, become insulting, and never, ever to become abusive. A good man will remain calm and stay on the topic at hand.
You’ve stopped dating her.
Whether you are married or not, it is important to continue dating your significant other. I mean, literally going on dates. Whether it is a surprise dinner or an extravagant week away together—never let things get stale. This is a sure road to resentment and being uncomfortably comfortable in your relationship.
While it is undoubtedly important to pursue success and chase after our goals and dreams, it is also important that we do not sacrifice those we love and care about in the process. I have never heard anyone in their later years say, “I wish I had spent more time at work, and less time with those I love.”
Do not wait until your later years for this realization. You can act on it here and now. Today.
Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
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