A combination of self and social awareness just might make all the difference in your success.
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If you think all successful men and women are smart, savvy, and sophisticated because of academic achievement or business smarts, think again. You don’t need either to set yourself apart from the crowd. Blaze your awe-inspiring trail above and beyond the average colleague by scoring high in Social Intelligence.
On the surface, Social I.Q. looks like successfully getting along with others while getting them to cooperate with you. Look a little deeper though and you see it involves both self and social awareness. The higher your Social I.Q., the easier complex social situations are like personal relationships, political debates, arguments, collaboration, and altruism. The more you operate with flexibility and empathy the happier, more respected and influential you’ll become.
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You can ramp up your Social I.Q. by altering your attitudes and reactions:
1. Always create a win-win situation with others. Especially in inter-personal relationships, there has to be something in it for the other person. Being aware of your needs is only half of the equation.
Test your Social I.Q.:
Your boss is making you work overtime this week so you won’t be home to help out around the house. You want to buy a new Go-Pro with the money, but your partner would rather any extra money go towards paying down credit card debt. What’s the win-win?
Your best friend, who has the total opposite political view from yours, has asked you to be his best man at his wedding a year from now. In the past, you two have had heated debates where no one wins and have gone weeks without speaking to one another.
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2. Learn to understand an opposing view. If you watch liberal television, listen to conservative radio. If you read the Washington Post, also check out The Times. Watch all of the Presidential debates and determine why each candidate has their viewpoint. It’s not about agreeing or disagreeing; it’s about learning to think critically.
Test your Social I.Q.:
Your best friend, who has the total opposite political view from yours, has asked you to be his best man at his wedding a year from now. In the past, you two have had heated debates where no one wins and have gone weeks without speaking to one another. He’s the one who eventually breaks down and apologizes first. With the 2016 election starting soon, how can you handle the subject differently?
3. Don’t insist on all or nothing. Arguments happen until reaching a compromise. Be the first to make that compromise.
Test your Social I.Q.:
You want to paint the walls tan because neutral colors have higher resale value, but your wife wants them a fun color, so the space is more fun and inviting. What color do you buy?
4. Hold the other person in high regard. Not everyone will be your cup of tea, so you may have to get creative with this one. But when you see the best in someone you automatically value them and their contributions.
Test your Social I.Q.:
You are on the Town Board of a quiet little beach community. During a monthly meeting the chairman, who you always butt heads with, suggests changing some zoning laws allowing commercial landowners to build residential properties in hopes of boosting the local economy. You’re concerned because this is where you planned on retiring. What questions could you ask in the spirit of collaboration?
5. Give first. Don’t always worry about what’s in it for you. Develop the attitude that what goes around comes around and leave it at that. Not only is it true, but it also impresses the heck out of everyone that knows you.
Test your Social I.Q.:
A co-worker is selling Girl Scout cookies for her daughter’s troop, and you are on a diet, doctor’s orders. What do you do?
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Remember: Be flexible. Be open. Be empathetic. And watch how it builds co-operation and helps your ultimate success.
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Photo credit: iStock