Most of us like to believe that we aren’t racist, or sexist, or don’t display any other form of discrimination in our daily lives.
The reality however is different — we all do, including you, and I. Some of these discriminative habits are so ingrained in us, we don’t even know they exist. And so, the first solution is, to acknowledge these, and then address them where we can.
“Guys” — Nope, The World Isn’t Just Men
This is an interesting one. To me growing up, guys were boys and gals or girls were girls. But increasingly, the use of the term “guys” is done agnostic of gender. And it isn’t just the men that are doing this, I hear friends and colleagues that are women that use this term quite casually even for a group that’s predominantly female.
I get it — the meaning to the word may have taken a new gender-neutral form, but why? Would you ever expect “Gals” or “Ladies” as a general term to ever become gender-neutral and broadly accepted?
The Alternatives
Folks. Everyone. All. People. Peeps. There are plenty of options depending on the context. But just don’t be lazy and just say “Guys” everywhere.
“Bro” and “Dude”— You’re Not 13 Anymore.
I am not sure if this is a generational thing or influence of slang and especially written slang thanks to social media. But this is one that is absolutely cringe-worthy and each time I hear a reference to either of those words in ANY context, it just is unbearably frustrating.
Also, both of these terms are quite simply masculine and so unless you are OK with “Sis” or “Dudette” being used interchangeably with these words, stop using them. It is NOT COOL.
The Alternatives
Names — we have them for a reason, don’t hesitate to use them.
Buddy / Pal — not my favorite ones but at least a lot more sensible.
You — the next time you have the urge to say “Brooooo” or “Dudeeee” just go ahead and say “Hey Youuuu” and you will sound a lot less annoying.
He / She For An Unknown Person
So this one has shifted from an unfair bias towards “he” to an equally unfair bias towards “she”.
A standard sentence from 10 yrs ago:
“The author of a book may be a veteran or a novice and so he may be excused for such mistakes.”
The same sentence today, probably:
“The author of a book may be a veteran or a novice and so she may be excused for such mistakes.”
And so we have done a complete U-turn in correcting bias and are now doing similar discrimination on the other end of the spectrum.
The Alternatives
She/He, He/She, (S)He — it may be tedious to spell it out every time but it is the right thing to do.
They / Them / Their — It doesn’t always sound grammatically accurate but it is OK to use gender-neutral plural forms instead.
Chairman / Policeman / Mailman — Maybe 50 yrs Ago But Not Today.
This is possibly owing to the fact that generations ago most professional titles were probably reserved for men, as the women’s participation in the workforce was so low.
However, that is certainly not the case today. We live in a world where women are equal to men and even ahead of them in many cases. So it isn’t acceptable to have positions defined just for the male gender.
The Alternatives
Generic Terms— Chairperson, Police Officer, Mail carrier — we need to coin and normalize usage of more gender-neutral terms.
Or Accurate Specifics — Be open to changing the title/address based on gender. Chairwoman, Chairlady, Policewoman, if you feel the need to be specific, but then be absolutely sure or using the right version each time.
Black / Brown / White / Yellow —Ethnicities Aren’t Merely Colors.
We all use this, and in some contexts, it is even permissible or acceptable but it isn’t the most diverse and inclusive usage of terms.
Humans are animals but the most sophisticated form of them, so let us address each other with a little more consideration.
The Alternatives
First of all, it is just outrageous to group people on the basis of their skin tone, but if you really must, below are some acceptable usages.
Black → African American.
Brown→ Get the specifics first. You could be talking Latin-American, Native-American, Indian (from India and not Native Indian), Hispanic, Middle-Eastern, South / Southeast Asian, and a whole host of other ethnicities.
White→ Caucasian.
Yellow→ Asian, specifically north Asian in most instances.
While these seem like trivial things the sayer/writer may not intend and the listener/reader may not notice, these are fundamental and legacy things in communication that need to change.
So while you may have the clearest of hearts with no ill intent, try and make that extra effort to say or write the appropriate thing. People will notice and appreciate, and eventually, and hopefully, it will be the norm.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Franck V. on Unsplash