Love is a verb. Love is a doing word. — Massive Attack
Whether you think it’s overused in our society or still holds significant meaning, LOVE is a word we’re all drawn towards.
When I read or hear the word ‘love,’ all kinds of things happen within my body and mind. The word sinks deep as in an instant I think about all my life experiences attached to my ideas of love. Depending on my environment, for example, if I am sitting with my husband, I immediately feel a heightened sense of everything we have built together based on this word ‘love.’
Within psychology, we talk about the emotionality of words: how language and linguistics are intricately connected to our emotional states. Some people are more drawn to this connection than others.
According to the Conceptual Act Theory (CAT), emotions occur when internal or external information is made meaningful in light of the present situation using our concept knowledge about emotion. CAT suggests language plays a role in emotion because language supports the conceptual knowledge used to make meaning of sensations from the body and world in a given context.
A Quick Etymology of Love
I’m no etymologist by any means, but I know there are plenty of ways to explore the depth of meaning this singular word for ‘love’ has become attached to. In attempts to unwrap the origins of the word we’ve all become so attached to, I found a connection to the Old English word lufu, meaning:
I’m interested in this exploration because of conversations I’ve had with others, about how ideas of love and the use of the word have become overly saturated in most common dialogues. I’ve read many accounts of how overused ‘love’ has become in our colloquial culture (I especially liked this article of how overused it is within the concept of minimalism). We’ve all been guilty of throwing it out there to explain how much we ‘love’ the latest TV show, new restaurant in our ‘hood, or the feel of freshly washed sheets.
While I agree that it perhaps has become diluted linguistically, I don’t see this as something to mourn — rather it’s an opportunity to get creative with how we explain and describe the many variations of love we experience.
5 Words of Love From Greece
‘Love’ to the Greeks was akin to ‘Snow’ for the Inuits: one word is not enough to cover the depth of this emotion.
‘Eros’ (ἔρως), named after the Greek god of fertility, is a common Greek word many of us are familiar with in connection to ideas of love. It refers to passionate love, typically characterized by intensity (often played out in dramatic, romantic media!).
Here are five other little known words for love you might like to add to your vocabulary if ‘love’ is no longer ticking all the boxes for you:
1. ‘Agape’ (ἀγάπη)
This was the most common word for love in ancient Greek, and a sense of universality characterizes it. It is the love we might feel for broader concepts such as the love for food or nature. The term ‘agape mou’ (Αγάπη μου) is literally translated to ‘my love.’ The situations in which it is used are broad, from informal use between friends to intimate use between couples or parent and child. It’s still a popular word used in songs and poetry:
Agape
Please don’t dissipate
I know that I have got it all wrong
— Agape, Bear’s Den
2. ‘Storge’ (στοργή)
This is the ancient Greek term for familial love. It’s similar to the love we share with romantic partners but, appropriately, without the element of sexual attraction. Characterized by a sense of instinct and familiarity, we might use ‘storge’ to describe the love we have for old school friends, our first love, or past lovers we’ve ended on good terms with.
3. ‘Philia’ (φιλíα)
Possibly my favorite on this list! The love we have for our friends or siblings is a particular type of love — separate from all others — and thankfully, the Greeks had a word for this too. Defined by an ‘affectionate regard between equals,’ philia is characterized by deep friendship and dependability.
I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light. — Helen Keller
4. ‘Philautia’ (φιλαυτία)
This word refers to self-love, and in their ancient wisdom, the Greeks acknowledged that self-love can be both healthy and unhealthy. Self-love in its unhealthiest form is characterized by self-indulgence, self-importance, and narcissism. Healthy self-love is characterized by an enhanced capacity for empathy (both for the self and others) and a wider ability to give and receive love in different forms.
If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. — John O’Donohue
5. ‘Xenia’ (ξενία)
This is the ancient Greek concept of hospitality, generosity, and courtesy shown to those far from home. One of the things that delighted me about this word is that it is characterized by ritual and care for strangers — a sense of building community and sharing with others that at times seems to be amiss in our increasingly digitalized society. As Yeats once said:
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
. . .
Of course, there are so many other ways to explore and share the meaning of love through our global languages — the five shared here barely begin to scratch the surface.
‘Love’ may be overused, but that means we need to stay curious and explore the many other ways of expressing this emotion that already exist in the world. Turning to the languages and cultures might be just the solution we need.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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