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I have written countless articles on ways to make women feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated.
As many readers have expressed a desire to hear the male equivalent, I figured it’s time to fulfill those requests.
I don’t feel like it’s talked about enough, but men respond to praise and appreciation just as much as women do. In many cases, possibly even more so. Whatever the reason, women tend to get the lion’s share of the verbal praise when it comes to how they look and how they make men feel.
Case in point, I can name ten songs off the top of my head that are solely about how attractive women are (inside and out)… and I can’t even name five about men without reeeaaally digging for them.
So without further ado, here are six kinds of compliments that men would love to hear more often.
Some of these I heard as requests from the men who asked me to write this article, others are things that my male clients have often mentioned they felt insecure about in their relationships, and a smaller portion have come from my personal dating history.
1. Compliments that show that you believe in him
One of the biggest things that makes a guy melt is when his partner supports him and believes in him. This is one of the most consistent things that I heard from my male readers when I went to them regarding writing this article.
One of my clients said, “When she says any variation of ‘I believe in you’ I feel like a superhero who can achieve anything”.
Examples:
– I believe in you.
– I love how driven you are.
– Whatever you put your mind to, I know you’ll be able to achieve it. You always have.
– Of course people want to work with you/for you… people trust you and your abilities. As they should. You’re amazing at what you do.
– Of course you got a raise/that new job. You’re talented, hard working, and everyone knows it. I’m so proud of you.
– You’ve accomplished so much in your life already. I’m sure you’ll continue to go on to do many more great things. You’ll make the most of any situation that comes your way.
2. Body and appearance-specific compliments
While men might not get as much body shaming marketing as the average woman does in western society, guys are still insecure about certain elements of their physical appearance. Besides, every person (regardless of gender) likes knowing that their partner finds them aesthetically pleasing. Whether it’s his arms, hands, eyes, thighs, or private parts that are on the receiving end of the compliment, guys aren’t too picky.
Here are some examples of compliments that my male readers said touched their heart:
– You look so handsome.
– Wow… you weren’t kidding when you said you had been working out. Look at you!
– You look extra manly today. I like it.
– You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit!
– I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.
– You look beautiful when you laugh.
– You look beautiful when you cry.
– You always look so handsome… even when you’ve just woken up and your hair is all messy.
3. Compliments that acknowledge his efforts
Everyone likes to be recognized for the effort that they put into their relationship.
Show him that you appreciate what he does for you. Even the simplest things. Notice and recognize it all. Whenever you appreciate something out loud, you tend to get more of it. And even if you don’t, you still get to make him feel loved.
Whether he took out the garbage, replaced the light bulb, or did the dishes is irrelevant… what matters is that you recognize him for his acts of service every now and then.
Examples…
– You’re so good to me.
– Thank you so much for cooking for me, love. I really appreciate it. And this is delicious!
– You can fix anything, can’t you?
– I love how gentle you are with me.
– Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent.
– I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You’re very sweet with me and I love it.
– I loved seeing you playing with (mutual friend’s) kids earlier today. Your playful side is so sexy. I love that you can cut loose and have fun sometimes.
4. Compliments that show that you respect him
Several studies have shown that men feel respect as love and they put a higher emotional premium on feeling respected than necessarily feeling loved. While I don’t think that these studies necessarily mean much on the individual level, it’s important to note that your man likely wants to feel respected within your relationship.
Here are some ways to say it to him:
– You’re a good man.
– I’m proud of you.
– I have so much respect for you.
– You become a better version of yourself every time I see you.
– It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that tough conversation back there… I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive.
– I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn’t have done any better.
– I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it.
5. Compliments that show that you trust him and his ability to lead
Blame social conditioning, biology, or whatever else you’d like to, but the majority of men have a deep level love of being seen as the leader in their lives and relationships.
Let him know that you see him and that you trust his way of being in the world by saying a few of the following:
– I trust you.
– I’m on your side.
– You’ve never steered us wrong in the past.
– I would follow you anywhere.
– You always give the best advice. You’re so smart.
6. Compliments that show that you are affected by him
Essentially all men know the feeling of having someone walk past them who is so attractive that they go weak in the knees. The intoxicating rush of attraction that we feel is a potent one.
Let him know that you feel something similar when you are around him.
– I can’t help but blush around you.
– You always know how to make me smile.
– I respond to you on such a deep level.
– I feel like I can accomplish so much more in my life because I have you as a safety net. I always feel supported by you and it means so much to me.
– Your eyes are so captivating. I could get lost in them forever.
– I’ve never felt more safe and comfortable around any other person. I love being in your presence.
– I’ve never been more turned on by anyone. You make me weak in the knees so often.
– You are the funniest guy I know.
41 Compliments Men Love
Here is a combined list of the specific compliments men love to hear (and would love to hear more often).
- I believe in you.
- I love how driven you are.
- Whatever you put your mind to, I know you’ll be able to achieve it. You always have.
- Of course people want to work with you/for you… people trust you and your abilities. As they should. You’re amazing at what you do.
- Of course you got a raise/that new job. You’re talented, hard working, and everyone knows it. I’m so proud of you.
- You’ve accomplished so much in your life already. I’m sure you’ll continue to go on to do many more great things. You’ll make the most of any situation that comes your way.
- You look so handsome.
- Wow… you weren’t kidding when you said you had been working out. Look at you!
- You look extra manly today. I like it.
- You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit!
- I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.
- You look beautiful when you laugh.
- You look beautiful when you cry.
- You always look so handsome… even when you’ve just woken up and your hair is all messy.
- You’re so good to me.
- Thank you so much for cooking for me, love. I really appreciate it. And this is delicious!
- You can fix anything, can’t you?
- I love how gentle you are with me.
- Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent.
- I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You’re very sweet with me and I love it.
- I loved seeing you playing with (mutual friend’s) kids earlier today. Your playful side is so sexy. I love that you can cut loose and have fun sometimes.
- You’re a good man.
- I’m proud of you.
- I have so much respect for you.
- You become a better version of yourself every time I see you.
- It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that tough conversation back there… I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive.
- I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn’t have done any better.
- I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it.
- I trust you.
- I’m on your side.
- You’ve never steered us wrong in the past.
- I would follow you anywhere.
- You always give the best advice. You’re so smart.
- I can’t help but blush around you.
- You always know how to make me smile.
- I respond to you on such a deep level.
- I feel like I can accomplish so much more in my life because I have you as a safety net. I always feel supported by you and it means so much to me.
- Your eyes are so captivating. I could get lost in them forever.
- I’ve never felt more safe and comfortable around any other person. I love being in your presence.
- I’ve never been more turned on by anyone. You make me weak in the knees so often.
- You are the funniest guy I know.
Remember that these compliments aren’t just about ego-stroking, they’re coming from a place of genuine love for your partner. Don’t feel like you need to exaggerate. Instead, find the perfect complement that makes sense and feels genuine. Often men who are doing a great job don’t even feel like they’re doing a good job, so these compliments can be more valuable than you know to make your partner feel safe in the relationship.
Wrap Up
Your unique guy will respond to some of these more strongly than others. Try out a handful of them and see what comes of it.
And before the comments section turns into a “Why do we need to stroke the male ego?”/ “People don’t need compliments… they should be internally validated!” fest… this article is merely setting out a blueprint to help people live with love more often.
Everyone enjoys receiving a sincere compliment, and the majority of these could be applied to any woman as well.
Compliments are more complicated than they seem, but they’re so crucial to how we function as human beings. For some more compliments that your partner would love to hear from you emotionally, you might enjoy 9 Compliments Tha Guys would Love to Hear From His Lady.
For those of you who want to make your man feel more sexy and appreciated than ever, don’t miss Helping Men Accept Compliments About Their Bodies.
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To understand why compliments are so important, take a look at this article by the BBC.
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Jordan Gray is the relationship coach for entrepreneurs. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com
Photo: Vincent Anderlucci / flickr
#4 & 5 is a little too traditional for my taste.
“You look beautiful when you cry” trust me no one wants to hear that…man or woman
What is that supposed to do? make me want to cry more often?
Please
I am so pleased I found this site. With all the men bashing going on due to the bad ones spoiling it for the good ones, this is really encouraging. I am referring to the monsters (#MeToo Movement) and predators and paedophiles being exposed and rightly exposed. But do not forget about the good men. The genuine men. The men that care. In a crisis of desperation, anxiety, depression, suicide, the over prescribing of antidepressants. We all need a compliment. We all need to give a compliment. Male to female. Female to male. Male to male. Female to female. Adult… Read more »
People need validation from others to feel loved. The whole idea that we don’t i.e. You go girl!, you’re better than him, you need to find love from within, is garbage. Truth is we feel good when we are validated from people, it makes us feel worthwhile and alive. ❤️
Hi
Great article Jordan.
Men want to feel like men. The best compliments are those that make him feel more masculine. He wants your respect. He wants you to feel safe around him. He wants to know that he has your loyalty through the good and the bad times.
If you like this sort of thing, I highly recommend giving Amy North’s guide a read. She has this section in particular called the ‘Obsession Formula’ and it works crazy good. You can find it at: http://DevotionMethod.info
Thank you for the awesome share Ash. Really helpful.
7. Any compliment that’s not attached to a veiled insult. Posts on social media never say “Share if you have a wonderful husband/boyfriend.” There’s one that I’ve seen 4 women share in the past 48 hours with “That look you get when you’re trying to stay mad at him, but you know in his own weird way he’s a good person.” Gee, thanks. That was fun digging through the fact that you’re trying to stay angry and think I’m weird. Women, you’d belt us if we complimented you that way.
These are all great suggestions. I can put my finger on the ones my guy responds to the most, but it’s always good to search out other ideas and not get stuck in a rut of saying the same things over and over until they become more of a habit than a genuine compliment.
Some of these reminded me that I often think certain things but don’t speak them out. Words are important. Thanks for the fresh tips! 🙂
Muy bueno, ayudaría si estuviera en inglés
What the heck!?!
dude its just them complimenting your comment
¡Te escucho chico, mis sentimientos, exactamente!
I love appreciating my bf and letting him know. Three years and I let him know how great his butt looks, the cute faces he makes and how much I appreciate his lips. I studied gender studies (on unit) and realized men are not told they are attractive enough. Sad, they are just people. Men are people, of course they want to feel special emotionally. My boyfriend has a great ass and really sexy eyes and looks so hoy with a shadow, and I let him know it.
Good for you.
I completely agree. After 5 years together a baby and demanding jobs our relationship had became stale. Our love life was nearly non existent. We never talked about more than dinner and our sons day at school. One morning on my off day I was cooking breakfast before our son woke up i noticedhe looked particularly attractive that day. Anyways I complimented him. That compliment changed our marriage. He is a welding instructor and teaches both day and night classes. Between classes he decided to come home for a quick visit and we have been the most in love happy… Read more »
An so that’s why He gave up on me because I have never been so appreciatived with all his efforts.It’s too late for now coz he finally moved on and found someone else???
I am a guy.. What should I do to recieve compliments? I have never been complimented. How does it feel when someome praises you?
Just live your life and do things for people from the heart. If you do stuff expecting praise people may see through it – I am not suggesting that you are not already doing things from the heart, but just in case 🙂
Praise feels amazing… and I have some for you right here:
I think it was very brave of you to come on here and open up to us about your desire to be praised… showing vulnerability is a sign of strength in my opinion.
Take care
Wow well spoken Trish. My faith is restored in humanity.
If u want to be praised,praise others.whatever we do is like a seed sown and I assure u this:if u make it a habit of praising others,you will get so many praises from different people.
Email me [email protected]
you truly are the most amazing guy i’ve ever met ..
That’s really sweet of you to ask ❤️ It shows strength and courage, openness and vulnerability, which I would say makes you a wonderful person in itself.
Its hard to think of how to say the thungs that really matter. This was Super Helpful! Wanna make sure he feels appreciated too.
This post really helped me. Just got married last year. I need to do this often. Thank you so much, I was able to review the love language as well. Really helpful Jordan.
Off the top of my head “It Feels Like Home To Me” by Chantal K. I love this song because it’s exactly how I feel about my guy. 🙂 Maybe guys don’t hear them often in songs because they don’t listen to sappy songs so much.
I used to be all praises for my bf, but all he could ever appreciate was my beauty. I realized it quite late that he could not see the pains I took for him, and the ordeals I went through for him. He was so full of himself, he didn’t even ask about my life, my views or my dreams. It was all about him and with what charm he used to make me overlook all that. My excitement at his success and appreciation would make him think he didnt deserve me. Truth is niether did I!
This should be a outline for complimenting all of those close to you! Mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, even best friends. Compliments seem to get lost, but everyone needs a good compliment here and there, not just on physicality from a stranger, but something more deeply rooted, like complimenting good the character of that person you spend the most time with. There’s obviously a reason why both parties want so much time spent together, and that reason should be spoken and understood. We all know that feeling of feeling under appreciated, so don’t let those you love feel that way.
Thank you for these. My father was abusive and my parents divorced when I was 9. My mother was bitter and resentful. I was raised to distrust and disrespect men. These phrases were not a part of my vocabulary. I simply never heard them. Any wonder my relationships have failed? Despite all of my loving feelings, I could not express myself in a way my men needed. My new boyfriend absolutely loves hearing me say these things. Thank you so much for sharing! I finally understand how to connect with his heart.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I appreciate your reasoning and your writing skills 🙂 I was lucky. I had a man who constantly sought out the romantic gestures and the love notes and he was my number one fan. He taught me how to reciprocate those compliments and verbalize all I was feeling. It was vitally important to my relationship with my beloved Scott to continue to support him emotionally with compliments even as his body wasted away to nothing. I never wanted him to see anything but love and admiration reflected back to him. As our physical love… Read more »
Beautiful!
I enjoyed this article but, downside – what if you’re not in a relationship? I’ve been thinking about it recently and with my job, I’m constantly traveling and always meeting new people (I’m a flight attendant). I love handing out compliments (because they are genuine) but find myself complimenting more women than men because I find, or thought, that women have Been more positively responsive to them. I have had a handful of handsome, not “hot”, gentlemen on some of my flights and sometimes I would like to pay them a compliment. But stop myself because 1. I don’t want… Read more »
Best I can think of is like the friendly waitress that calls everyone sweetheart and whatnot…..telling them stuff like that shirt suits them or smiling til they smile back and say I knew there was a smile in there somewhere. You have a lovely smile don’t ever lose it. Something that flows with hospitality, maybe a compliment on their job? Platonic attention is a compliment in itself. Everyone wants to be heard and noticed.
You guys are really awesome in your article and
I think I really enjoyed them personally. I will not end by saying kudos to you guys that commented positively on this post.
I like compliments about making her feel safe and secure
Very good article Jordan, congrats. I think is very important in a relationship to express each other feelings. In my case, I lost my husband, he passed away, almost 8 years ago, and I have to admit that I didn’t use to give him compliments very often, and it was wrong of me. I am with somebody right now and I try to do it better. This type of articles helps very much. Thanks for taking your time to write it.
My boyfriend & I came from bad marriages. He is more than I could ever hoped for in a man. I compliment him almost daily. The problem is he goes silent. If i text him a compliment he never replies back. I don’t question him. I just praise him & go on. Can it be maybe he’s never received a compliment from an ex or what? He does not treat me no less & will do things just for me. There were times after I told him how nice & amazing he is he said I don’t know him that… Read more »
Hi Kristi,
It sounds like your boyfriend might have difficulty with receiving praise. This may stem from self-esteem. When you said that he said that you don’t know him that well and he’s not that nice… that is usually the voice of shame or low self-esteem speaking. He is deflecting your praise for some reason. He might need to do some of his own inner work before he is truly able to receive the praise from you.
“be the partner you want”. Sounds trite, but if you only wait for compliments before you care to give them, then probably two can play that game. So a better hame is: “Hon, this week I need from you….” then the door to deeper communication gets opened. It makes both of you vulnerable, and that needs trust, and so all of this presupposes a communicative relationship. I think. Thanks, enjoyed the article.