Reading people’s behavior can sometimes be complicated. The ability to easily decode someone’s behavior and accurately gauge their character is one of the most crucial life skills that can help you find genuine people to trust and keep by your side.
Luckily, it’s a skill you can easily learn: all you have to do is pay attention to the little things. Because, whether we like it or not, we give a lot of information about ourselves without realizing it — it’s just that most people don’t pay attention.
Without further ado, what follows is a list of little things that can give you insight into a person’s real character.
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
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#1. The Way They Argue
Some people believe that arguing with someone is a bad sign, an omen for non-compatibility and future problems. In reality, conflict is part of life, an element of any healthy relationship.
You shouldn’t spend your energy and time attempting to avoid arguing with someone; you should pay attention to the way that person argues instead. For example:
- Do they separate the person from the argument?
- Do they give the other person space to respond or do they keep interrupting them?
- Do they remain polite or do they start attacking the other person once tension escalates?
- Do they know when to walk away from an argument?
You see, most people don’t know how to argue and others, once they start arguing, don’t know how to stop.
However, there’s also a small golden percentage of people who keep their arguments polite, short, and productive; people who view conflict as a tool for growth and argue for the right reasons — those are the ones you want to keep by your side.
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#2. Their Emotional Stability
Emotional stability is one of the most desirable traits in a person.
Unless you’re a masochist, you want to spend your time with a person who’s emotionally stable and balanced — someone who properly and steadily controls, manages, and expresses their feelings.
You can tell a lot about the way a person handles and reacts to difficult situations, social pressure, or life struggles by how easily and/or often their emotions change — as well as how well they can control them.
For example, do they fall into deep sadness or get extremely angry over seemingly minor things? Do they have mood swings all the time? Are they impulsive or do they think before they act?
Of course, people are allowed to have emotional outbursts or shifts in their emotions every once in a while. But there’s a difference between that and constantly not having a hold on how someone feel. The more emotionally unstable a person is, the more they will complicate your life.
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#3. The Way They Act When They Make Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is the way you address your mistakes and whether you make an effort to fix them.
For example, someone who isn’t good at handling blame after making a mistake, or even worse, tries to pin it on someone else, reveals how irresponsible, immature, and dishonest that person is.
The inability to admit your mistakes also screams selfishness, a big ego, and emotional imbalance.
On the other hand, a person who gladly accepts responsibility for their actions, admits their mistakes, and strives to do better next time, reveals an honest, mature, and trustworthy personality.
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#4. The Way They Handle Rejection
Another little thing that can tell a lot about someone’s personality, is the way they handle rejection.
Pay attention to what response the word “no” evokes to the person you’re interested in. Many people take the word “no” as a threat to their self-identity, which means that they have a hard time handling rejection.
For example, a selfish person will say things like “I can’t understand how someone could reject me” or “I don’t deserve being rejected”. An immature person might throw a tantrum like a child, and an insecure one might fall into deep sadness and start complaining about “life being unfair”, or about “never being good enough”.
What you should be looking for is a composed, confident, and realistic individual. They’re the ones who will remain optimistic and calm after being rejected; they’ll view their rejection as a chance to grow and become better.
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#5. The Way They Talk About the Accomplishments of Other People
This one is my favorite because even though it usually goes unnoticed, it can truly reveal some crucial aspects of someone’s character.
You see, unfortunately, a lot of people are two-faced. They act as if they’re proud of your achievements in front of you, but then will say all kinds of nasty things about you behind your back.
Be wary of people who say things like:
- “I’m sure she got her promotion because she’s a suck-up to her boss.”
- “He doesn’t deserve making such huge amounts of money.”
- “Most of her achievements have to do with pure luck”.
Someone who talks like that about people behind their backs will do the same to you sooner or later. This behavior signals jealousy and insecurity, an inferior complex, and an unreliable personality.
On the other hand, people who are confident, believe in themselves and have high self-esteem never talk bad about other people’s accomplishments behind their backs.
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#6. The Way They Approach Life
One of my childhood friends has a pessimistic view of life. It seems like she’s always complaining about the bad things that happen to her and yet she never tries to improve her circumstances.
Sure, I love her, but I must admit most of the times I go out with her, I’m left in a bad mood —her pessimism and lens of victimhood are contagious and somehow always drain all of my emotional energy.
You see, it’s better to gravitate toward people who approach life with enthusiasm, optimism, and confidence.
These people inspire you, push you forward and fill your life with positive vibes. Their enthusiasm about life is contagious — and if you’re not approaching life with enthusiasm, what’s the point of living, right?
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Putting It All Together…
Understanding someone’s character isn’t always easy.
Some people need a lot of time to open up while others might show you a fake side of themselves.
That’s why you should make an effort to become more observant and pay close attention to the little things people do, from the way they argue to the way they approach life.
This life skill can significantly improve your life and help you invite and keep the right people by your side.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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