“I am so over men. It feels like they all joined forces and decided to be the worst versions of themselves. I’ll probably never date again. There just aren’t any good men out there.
I recently met up with a close friend for my 3 favorite things, drinks, dinner, and girl talk. She’d told me she went on a few dates, and I was eager to hear all about them.
I wasn’t expecting to hear how negative her experiences were. For context, she’s a gorgeous girl with an ivy-league education, a 6-figure salary, and a body built by pilates classes which she pops like M&M’s.
Over the last few months, she had a stream of shitty back-to-back dates. One guy ghosted her, the second didn’t put his phone down during dinner, the third was a catfish, and the most recent one told her he wanted to be a stay-at-home dad when he grew up. (lol?)
After hearing all the gory details, I was fired up to write this article.
It’s true, women are a lot pickier when it comes to choosing their partner— but nowadays, men lack some of the most fundamental traits that they should possess.
While all women have specific tastes and needs, here are six specific qualities that most women desire in men when seeking a long-term relationship.
As a man, you have an obligation to be physically and mentally strong. That doesn’t mean you need to be able to bench 500 lbs, (but if you can bench that much, even better) it simply means you need to present yourself as a strong man inside and out.
A woman wants to know that you can pick her up and carry her if she breaks her ankle while hiking. She wants to know you won’t have an emotional breakdown during an argument.
She also wants to know that if the two of you settle down and have kids, they won’t always be sick because you have various underlying health issues you haven’t addressed because you’re irresponsible and don’t give a crap about your health.
Health is wealth, and a strong and healthy man (both inside and out) is attractive.
Quality women will not be with a man who is not proactive about his future.
You don’t need to be a multi-millionaire, but you do need to have your finances sorted.
Some women don’t mind if you’re in the midst of figuring your shit out, but that can get old real quick if you can’t afford to take her out to dinner or you’re constantly complaining about how you can’t catch a break.
Stability is sexy. Having the drive to live a good and comfortable life is attractive.
If you’re not proactive about your future, how can a woman rely on you to provide a stable and secure home for her and your future kids?
This is easy. This is simple. This is you putting your phone away during dinner and giving her your full attention.
This is you listening to her when she tells you she had a shitty day and surprising her with a certificate to the spa or cooking dinner.
This is you putting her needs above yours in the bedroom.
These are all little things you can do that don’t take much effort on your part but will make a world of difference to her.
Additionally, this is what will separate you from the other guy she’s seeing who might “have it all” but doesn’t give her the same kind of attention.
While so many men continue to argue that what all women want are shredded abs and fat wallets, I’d like to bring someone up to the stage that will make you rethink that:
Is he attractive? No. Is he ripped? No. Does he have money? Sure. Did Kim Kardashian have money when she started dating him? Duh. What about Ariana Grande? Yep. What about Kate Beckinsale? Yes.
So if none of these very attractive women wanted him for the money or his looks, then what exactly did he use to get them all in his bed?
His game. His charisma. His charm. His sense of humor. His confidence.
There is something to be said about a man who can enter a room and be the life of the party without being cocky.
Charisma is one of the greatest forms of self-advertising. If you learn how to market yourself in a way that not only attracts women to you but also makes men want to be you, then you’re doing something right.
You’ll get far in life if you have this quality, not just romantically but professionally, too.
After all, just take a look at Pete Davidson.
It’s common knowledge that in our current day and age, men are becoming less masculine. And society is actively pushing toward that.
Men are painting their nails, wearing crop tops, relying on handouts from the government, or in my friends’ case, wanting to be stay-at-home dads while their female counterparts go to work.
I’m not judging; I’m just saying it’s not very masculine when your wife comes home from a long day at work, and you greet her in a tomato sauce-stained apron that says “wifey” on it.
Some women like that. Quite frankly, I went down a long rabbit hole on Quora reading about how some women prefer men to be more “feminine” than masculine. To be quite honest, I don’t buy it.
Some women will claim they want “feminine energy” from a man but at the end of the day, they will always choose the guy who acts level-headed and stays in control of his emotions.
Women do not like to be bored.
Women like to have fun. They like to go shopping, they like to gossip, they like luxury, they like to travel, they like attention, they like drama, they like being entertained and if you can’t provide that for her or afford that — she’ll get bored.
This is also probably why Kim Kardashian went out with Pete Davidson. He entertained her; he made her laugh; he made life feel exciting.
From personal experience, there is nothing worst than a dull partner. I’ve always prioritized wit and intellect in partners because if they’re not intelligent, our conversations will be flat, and I will be bored. And if that’s the case, what’s the point?
I’d also like to say that I’m not saying women are incapable of entertaining themselves; they are — but what’s the point of having you around if you aren’t providing quality company?
- Start taking care of yourself. Hit the gym. Eat right. Prioritize your health. Get checked out. Stop drinking every night. Stop vaping. Stop watching porn.
- Get a sense of urgency for your life. Stop being a passenger in your own life.
- Put the damn phone away. If you’re going to be with her, pay attention to her.
- Learn something. Gain a skill that will set you apart from the rest. Stop being insecure. Work on yourself. Work on your soft skills.
- Be a man. Men are meant to be tough and resilient. Let the women be soft and sensitive. Stop painting your nails. Do not wear crop tops.
- Don’t be boring. Bring something to the table.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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