Chris Armstrong on the things he sees people do that aren’t good for relationships.
I have an opinion about everything, and it may annoy some people. In some cases, it’s less opinion and more stream of consciousness. When I sit down with a client, I must bottle that stream and put aside my opinions so that I may help them focus and get clear on whatever relationship issue is on their mind.
I love that being a relationship coach puts me in a space that requires me to focus, to be that calm and guiding light for my clients. Otherwise, I would go absolutely insane. My really good friends know this about me, and they are often on the receiving end of my long list of observations in the world of love,dating, and relationships.
Speaking of, I wonder if you, the readers, would be so kind as to be on the receiving end of a rant of sorts. I am on a (mental) roll as my head is currently filled with a long list of constant annoyances I observe and ponder.
Thank you. You are too kind.
1. The Elephant Ninja
Ladies especially, I know you’ve seen this before. The elephant ninja is the person who is at the bar or at a party when someone catches their eye. But, rather than simply approach that person and start talking to them, they pick up a drink and take a couple steps. So as not to look so obvious, they look up at the TV screen atop the bar and take a couple steps. They will do this a number of times before they get close enough to the person to make conversation. I call them an elephant ninja because they think they are being slick (ninja), but people see it from a mile away (elephant).
2. Relay Team
This is the couple that, when walking in public, are walking ten feet from each other. It’s as if they are not even a couple. When I see this, I can’t help think but one of two things: 1) The one walking ahead of the other does not want to be seen with their partner, 2) The partner has just resigned themselves to the fact that this is how it is. It cannot feel good to be the person that wants to walk side-by-side with your partner and realizing that they do not want that.
3. 1950s Bathrooms
Yep, those public places that have changing tables in the women’s bathrooms but not the men’s. Encouraging men to be equal partners, right? (Insert eye roll).
4. “You Too” Syndrome
“I love you.” “I love you too.” “You look really nice.” “You too.” Uh, okay. Perhaps there is sincerity in the “you too,” but I wonder why that is the default response. I am especially mindful when it is always the same partner that initiates and the same partner that replies with the “you too.”
5. Text on the Beach
Being in a public place and seeing a couple that is together but alone. A.K.A. they are texting others or surfing the net instead of interacting with each other.
6. Sarcastically Seeking Permission
“I’d like to but I have to get permission from the boss. You know how it is. Ha ha ha ha ha!” I really want to punch that grin off their face when I hear people say that. Or, when they refer to their spouse or partner as “the wife” as if she’s an inanimate object. How about respecting your spouse both when you are with them and when you are referring to them. Last I checked, marriage and relationships are not prisons nor places of employment.
7. Mall Couch Potatoes
So I get it, you don’t like shopping. Correction, you like shopping when it’s for things in your area of interests. Just because you do not like shopping does not mean that you cannot put forth an effort in showing your spouse that you’re interested in what they like.
Instead, you’d rather go with them because “you have to” and sit on the couch or chairs in boredom or while surfing your phone. I find this especially troubling in clothing stores. You mean to tell me that it wouldn’t be fun and sexy and flirtatious to be an active participant with your partner while they try things on? Can you please give me the name of your doctor so that I may ask them where your romantic bones went?
Well friends, thanks for letting me vent. I wanted to get into the anger that takes over me when I see a baby needing attention and only the mother attends to the baby, but alas, I had to stop the madness at some point. What other things would you have added to this list? This inquiring mind would love to know!
This article originally appeared on Divorced Moms
Photo credit: Getty Images