She taught him lessons that made him a better husband and man.
It is hard to believe my wife and I have almost been married for twenty years. Over this time, I have learned a lot from her. Much of what I have learned has helped me become a better person and helped my career. Let’s cover a few of the things I have learned from her.
When we first got married, I was not the most organized person. I would have things scattered all over and usually couldn’t find some things. My wife, on the other hand, had her things well organized and could find the thing quite easily. I tried to fight this for a while thinking I had a system to my madness. That didn’t last too long after I would get frustrated, I realized I needed to find a different way.
2. Check Your Expectations
As a bit of an optimist and a dreamer, I can get unreal expectations of how quickly I think things be completed. In our early years of marriage, we had an older home that needed a lot of repairs. I would start a lot of projects, and they would usually take longer than I expected. Mostly this was because of my lack of knowledge on some of the projects I was working on.
Even today, I will make a change to try and build a business and expect a quicker start up. She has a better understanding and reminds me of having more realistic expectations. Patience and persistence are more important than a quick start.
3. Build Good Habits
In college, I would get up at random times to get to my various classes. When we first got married, I noticed how my wife would get up every day at the same time. Since she was getting up early, I decided I would do the same thing. For the same reason, I began working out early in the morning too.
A few months ago, I was listening to Brian Johnson talk about how we can create better mornings with our habits. Brian was reviewing Miracle Morning’s by Hal Elrod. Turns out these great habits my wife taught me work and Hal has the research to back it up.
4. Have a Plan
A few years after we got married, I decided to make a career change. At first, I took a few classes then I finally figured out what major I was going for. Once I finally had a plan is when things started to happen. When I first started floating the idea of changing careers, I didn’t get anywhere.
I saw how good my wife does with a plan early on in our relationship. From planning our wedding to planning some of our great vacations she always puts together a plan. I can sometimes be Misses Ready Fire Aim, just trying things left and right. With a plan, it helps you accomplish more and feel like your making traction.
5. Avoid Clutter
This point was one that used to annoy me. I can make piles of stuff here and there when I am working on a project. Why should I need to be so clean! My wife is very clean and organized, and I would even poke fun at her occasionally. One day I was listening to Brian Johnson discuss the book Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney. He discussed how we need to tidy up. Essentially if we have a messy environment, it can zap your willpower. The research is quite startling really. That was all I needed to know so I have started tidying up my desk.
6. Be Curious
I enjoy listening to Michael Hyatt’s This is Your Life podcast. He was talking about in a recent episode how important it is for us to stay curious. He talked about how important that has been for his career to be curious about new things and to constantly be learning.
My wife is really good at meeting people and asking good questions to get people talking. We just met some new friends a while back. She did a great job of asking lots of good questions to get the other couple talking and learning about their life. She has always been very curious, and it has helped her career go in new directions many times.
7. Don’t Take “No” for an Answer
When you want something to be completed or change, sometimes you have to ask a few times. I have seen my wife persistently persuade people at restaurants and airports. Growing up the in the midwest where we like to practice “Midwest Nice,” we don’t like to ruffle the feathers. Of course, if you want something you have to abandon your nice behavior and be persistent. This one has helped me get things moving in my career. Building something new can take time and hearing a lot of No’s. So keep moving forward even if you hear “No.”
Photo: Flickr/ Junichi Ishito