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No relationship is perfect. But overall, if you feel more negatively about your relationship than positive, you might need to evaluate the health of your relationship with your significant other. Maybe it seems as though you are a on a seesaw of emotions, with moments where you feel fulfilled as a husband, and others where you sleep on the couch. While every relationship has its ups and downs, there are warning signs that tell you it may be time to move on.
Abusive relationships are not only defined by physical violence—but emotional, sexual, and/or psychological abuse. Abusive patterns can be hard to spot for the victim.
If you feel stuck in a bad relationship, these are some of the tell-tale signs that the relationship with your partner is unhealthy and stressful.
• Your partner controls who you talk to
Isolation is a form of abuse and domination. Abusive spouses limit their partner’s activities: who they can talk to, spend time with, and when. Abusive partners use intimidation and psychological abuse to control their partner’s actions against their will.
In extreme situations, a spouse might even limit access to the car or turn your phone off when they want to isolate you. The more isolated you feel, the fewer resources you have to make sense of your situation and escape from it.
• Your spouse controls the finances
Abusers often make their partners dependent on them for money by controlling access to funds. If your spouse controls how much you will spend, they are creating financial dependency by demanding their approval before spending a dime.
• Your other half attacks your parenting skills
Fathers share a different kind of love with their children. They might not cook for or feed their children, but they share equal responsibility toward their upbringing. If your partner lashes out at you for not doing enough for your kids or doing it the ‘wrong’ way, it might be a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship.
In extreme cases, your partner might lie to the kids about you, try to belittle you in front of the kids, or threaten to take full custody of your kids.
• Your partner uses fear, anxiety, or panic as a weapon
Abusive partners keep their spouses in line by instilling fear in them. They might threaten verbally or use intimidating looks and gestures. If you feel like your partner is tracking your every move, it might be a sign you’re part of an unhealthy relationship.
In extreme cases, abusers might destroy your possessions, threaten to harm your family or you.
• Your spouse forces sexual activities on you
Even in a committed relationship, it is not okay for partners to force sexual activities upon each other. If your partner pressurizes you for sexual intercourse or any kind of sexual activity, you might be suffering from an unhealthy relationship.
In extreme cases, abusers treat their partners as objects of sexual pleasure.
• Your partner undermines your self-worth
It’s important in any relationship to build each other up. If your partner tries to tear you down, it could be a sign that they are psychologically and emotionally abusive. Abusers often belittle their spouses in front of their kids, family, or friends. They engage in mean name-calling and verbal attacks to humiliate their partners in public.
In extreme cases, an abusive partner might even bully you, unfairly accuse you of having an affair or interrogate you about every little thing. Additionally, they often blame it on you for making them act this way or leave you confused, saying they were only kidding.
• Your spouse only cares about their interests
If your relationship is centered around one person, it shows you are in an unbalanced situation. A controlling partner is usually self-centered. They don’t care about your feelings. They never acknowledge your struggle, pain, or hurt.
Instead, they assign unreasonable importance to their own worth. Self-centered partners also believe they are better than their spouses and that theirs is the ‘right’ way to do everything. There is no arguing with them. They will do everything to keep you in their shadow.
Real love has more space for understanding, respect, and trust. The bond that men and women share is gradually changing. If you are to find the right relationship dynamics, you will have to leverage mutual admiration and transparency.
If you have come to the conclusion that you are in an unhealthy relationship, be wary of taking it further. If you or someone you know notice these signs, it’s time to call your relationship what it is and break ties sooner rather than later.
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Photo courtesy iStock.