Mature men don’t cheat. Here’s why.
So many boys, so few real men.
I’m rather pissed off at all you stupid boys, parading about like actual men. In fact, you recently cost me a potentially promising relationship. Because you’ve managed to cheat on so many women and break their trust, there seem to be very few women left who are willing to trust another man.
I have never before cheated on a woman in my life, nor will I ever do so. Unfortunately, very few women seem to believe me. I’m sure I’m not the only man who has come across a similar problem.
I’m certain that plenty of great guys have had to carry the baggage some other douchebag left behind. When you break a woman’s trust, you will never get it back. I really mean never. Sadly, you’re also ruining it for the next guy.
By cheating on a woman, you are screwing her over for the long run – she’ll likely be unable to trust another man for years to follow. Real men don’t cheat. Here’s why:
Real men are emotionally stable.
We usually hear about women having trouble controlling their emotions. Truth be told, men are much worse. While women have the intelligence to share their feelings and discuss their problems (most of the time), men like to keep it bottled up.
Until, of course, they can’t take it any longer and explode. When something goes wrong in a relationship, women may very well cry, they may complain, they may throw tantrums or give you the silent treatment, but men – weak men – pretend like they feel nothing.
Once their cup flows over, they look for whatever release they can. They drink. They smoke. They f*ck. Unfortunately, since they aren’t on talking terms with their woman, they f*ck whatever they can find. Real men deal with their emotions appropriately.
Real men have enough willpower to keep it in their pants.
I’m sorry to have to tell you this gentlemen, but because you are men you are going to want to sleep with every beautiful woman who crosses your path. Literally, every single one.
If you’re a real man, however, you won’t risk screwing up what you have for a brief few minutes in the sack with a woman you more than likely won’t have chemistry with. If you really want sex that badly then why not sleep with the woman who loves you?
If the sex bores you, then do something to make it more exciting. It takes two to tango – if she won’t bring the whipped cream then it’s up to you to do so.
Real men don’t date women they don’t love or don’t believe they can one day love.
Obviously, we all date people we aren’t yet certain we will fall for — if love at first sight exists, it’s rarely the case. However, many will date someone they don’t especially care about simply for convenience.
Why go out to find tail when you can have it delivered? Real men understand that women aren’t objects and therefore don’t use them simply to satisfy their own needs. When they know they don’t love a woman then they cut things off instead of continuing to lead them on.
Real men are respectful.
They treat people with respect when respect is due… especially when it comes to the women they’re dating. Cheating is lying; it’s breaking trust and it proves that you care little about your partner as a lover, friend and as a human being.
To cheat is to act as if you’re better than she is and the fact is that you aren’t. Break her trust and you will never really get her back. I had to learn this the hard way.
Real men don’t need to add notches to their belts simply to make themselves feel like men.
Real men know that they’re real men. They can feel it with every step they take – and more often than not it shows. It shows in their demeanor and in their actions. Too many “men” these days believe it’s laudable to sleep with as many women as possible – as if it were some sort of game, and women are collectables of sorts.
Women aren’t objects, and this game that you’re playing is called life. If you get caught cheating and the stakes are high enough then you can ruin your life.
Real men would never hurt the woman they love.
To be fair, real men would never hurt any woman, but especially not the woman they understand as being an extension of themselves. Real men love and care for themselves as well as those who are closest to them.
If you are lucky enough to have found a woman to love and are luckier still to have her love you back, then do everything in your power to keep her smiling. There is nothing worse in the world than losing a person you love. Mistakes are mistakes… but they aren’t always forgivable.
Real men know what’s important in life – and it’s not another piece of ass.
Proper men are too busy living the life of their dreams to bother with excess. They are working on attaining all that it is that they want in life, but more importantly still, they understand what it is that they really want.
As men, we often want more than is good for us. Only when we get what we thought we wanted do we come to realize the error of our ways. I will tell you right now that there should only be one woman for you.
That one woman who will love you for your entire life is all that really matters. The rest you won’t even remember.
Real men have the guts to break up with a woman.
If you plan on cheating on her then you clearly don’t want to be with her. Grow a pair and break things off. You’re clearly going to do it sooner or later.
Rip that bandaid off and get it over with. Be a real man and not a quivering coward.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo HelloI’mJulia. Flickr
About the author: A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and a mining startup in Turkey. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.
Well there are many of us Good Men that are very Faithful to our Good Women today, and we Don’t have to Cheat since many of us are very happy and Committed.
My ex-wife cheated on me. The reaction I got from some women was that I must have done something to deserve it.
Can we now have an article on how “Real Women” don’t absolve their entire gender for the responsibility of their negative actions? “Real Women”, in my mind, don’t think that men who get cheated on must have deserved it purely for being male.
It seems to me there are now three definitions of the male species. Boys, Men and Real Men. I didn’t bother to venture into reading the article but read some of the comments and agree with many of the comments. The title and subtitles have simply gone mainstream and in my opinion like the many other lame efforts to “stimulate change” is only an attempt to put down men. I am a man, not a real man. Yes, I make mistakes and bad decision but that’s what makes me a man. I don’t give up but I keep pressing forward… Read more »
Hmmm, shame, shame, shame, then shame certain men some more , state opinions as facts or at least as a doctrine of what (( real men are )), reinforce one of their stereo type, wag the proverbial finger at the bad (( not real men )), trying hard to be so chivalrously sweet that one of the glorified readers almost gagged on it, oh and ( another piece of ass ) , was just a slip in trying so hard , much appreciated Paul , I will fellow the instructions on my way to become the good man. All the… Read more »
A real man wouldn’t blame not getting in a relationship on other guys. Also just an fyi women cheat too its not just men you bigots
After my ex cheated on me 5 times….in a 31 year marriage….I walked away……may his next conquest deal with his cheating.
Hi Paul. Do real respectful men refer to women as “another piece of ass”? Here is something you don’t know about respectful men. They value their partners. But they always value other women and don’t refer to them in derogatory ways like “another piece of ass.”
I detest these articles by Paul Hudson. I swear he just pumps out crap because he gets paid by the article.
i find all of elite daily’s articles that ive read on here, the trippiest.
so many times i think, ‘what the hell am im reading here’
Hi, I am a therapist who specializes in couples and affairs. In my experience, very few of those who betray their vows are narcissistic repeat offenders, out to take and destroy. The majority of those who betray are just like you and I – and slowly, they make small decisions that eventually lead to big decisions. Never have I worked with a couple where the affair was not symbolic of deeper issues within the relationship. An affair is one of the most painful things a betrayed partner can experience – but as long as both are willing, it is 100… Read more »
Amy, I can attest to what you say. My wife and I survived infidelity–I’m not retyping what I just posted–and our marriage continues to get better than it ever was. Therapy helped a lot, but couldn’t have worked if we both weren’t willing to work hard together AND individually. We had lawyers lined up, but somehow we came back off the edge. It was two years of hell, but we are both better people for it, and happier than ever.
Amy, in your experience, how many couples are able to go on and have a healthy relationship after one partner cheats vs couples who end up breaking up? 50/50? 60/40? 70/30? I guess I am looking for a rough statistic.
There is no way for me to know follow up statistics. However, I will tell you that few things are as rewarding as running into FAMILIES or couples in public, who are together, enjoying each other, and having them smile at me across the restaurant or store, when our first meeting was about infidelity and pain. Recovery is absolutely realistic when both parties are invested in change. I don’t mean recovery to returning to what was – I mean a renewal and a new way of operating in the world. There is hope.
People are fallible, relationships are complex, “REAL” PEOPLE of both genders do shitty things to each other for myriad of reasons, that often have more to do with oneself (cheater) than another (cheated). This article seems to contradict most of what GMP stands for. I think GMP is about breaking out “traditional” preconceptions of how people “should” be. My wife and I survived infidelity–strangely enough, both of us were unfaithful in our 16 year marriage. Year 16 and 17 were pure hell. Year 18 has been the best yet, and keeps getting better. So yes, real men can cheat, and… Read more »
This is almost a spiritual issue. You might wonder where that statement came from, so let me explain. In the chivalric tales of King Arthur based on the Grail Mysteries of Chretien de Troyes, ‘knights’ are courteous, graceful, reverential, merciful, honourable, articulate, intelligent and emotionally strong. If you look at medieval history in detail though, we all know that in reality such values went out of the window on the battlefield. Knights were little more than thugs who burnt, raped and slaughtered their way across the country in numerous medieval wars. However, the point is that the chivalric idea of… Read more »
Robin, thank you for putting into words what I felt after reading the article. Much obliged.
I’m dating a man who’s wife cheated on him…twice.
Call it for what it is, a cheating wife is rampant. Quit putting all the blame on men. Women are just as guilty
Not putting all blame on men, just focusing on the men. And no, “women” are not as guilty yet. They still cheat less in general. That can change, though.
I honestly dont see the big deal about cheating. The biggest issue is when your significant other starts to find out other little details and then it gets complicated. I an in full favor of the “Dont ask dont tell” clause. In the long run its just sex. As long as there is a mutual agreement between you and your partner that thats all it will be i really dont see who is getting hurt in all this. My marriage would have failed if i wasnt able to venture out once in a big great while. A break from the… Read more »
Cheating is a breach in trust. I think you do see the big deal because you acknowledge that while you may have a base idea that your partner could potentially be out with other men, you don’t truly want to know about it. You want to be kept in the dark on some level. So yeah, you do kind of care, which is why you don’t want ot hear about it and why you highlighted that your extra curricular activities are “once in a big great while.” You have rationalized it in your own mind that it’s okay for those… Read more »
If it’s agreed on, it’s not cheating. Cheating is going behind the other’s back. Come on guys, you don’t even know what terms of your own language mean?
A mutual agreement isn’t cheating. If you and your wife didn’t have the agreement you have together and one or both of you went out and had sex with other people without the other’s consent it would be cheating.
Yes. Cheating, dishonesty and manipulation are wrong in a relationship whether done by a man or a woman. The problem I have with this particular post is that the author sounds like a narcissist. He considers himself a “real” man. He is unable to get a date. Ergo, the treatment of women in general by those he does not consider “real” men is the reason he can’t get a date. It suggests point #9: Real men don’t blame others for their shortcomings.
Not only does this piece reek of a pathetically naive understanding about the intricacies of relationships, it smacks of the good ole “No true Scotsman” fallacy. Where are you editors? And what’s going on with my (formerly) favorite new site? I thought one of the main issues GMP takes to heart is bringing light to and burning away man-shaming wherever it’s found. Not so much here I guess.
Sorry, pal – you don’t get to define who is real and who is not. Neither do you get to define who is a man and who is not. You get to decide on behaviour, opinions, values, actions, whatever you approve of or not, but your never, ever get to define other men at “not real” or “not men” based on your approval. Never. I don’t care if it wearing pink, taking paternity leave, working as a nurse, having sex with men, or cheating that make you label other men as “not real men”. You don’t get to do that.… Read more »
I don’t see this as a case of denying men their gender identity. As it’s used in this article, the term ‘real man’ has nothing to do with gender identity. Rather, it describes maturity level and how people deal with issues. Boys are seen as less mature and therefore deal with their problems in bad ways. Men are more mature and deal with their problems in better ways.
I don’t consider it mature to assume that what matters most to you, must also matter most to other people. I don’t consider it mature to assume that the solution that is right for you is right for other people. Rather, I tend to associate immaturity with the desire to cling to absolutes and maturity with the ability to accept and deal with life’s inherent uncertainty and messiness. But, that’s just me. I can’t speak for the rest of the world anymore than the author can. It is, however, the reason I think these “Real men…” listicles are treacle for… Read more »
And I meant to add that this is another example of the editorial staff importing a piece that might better fit a site that made it clear that it was going to be blunt. Personally, I don’t find the “real men” kind of reference all that problematic in conversation or in print when I walk into something expecting that sort of approach. But really, I thought that GMP wanted to create a more open environment. I wonder. Oh, and if I seem critical, please cue a staffer to respond questioning why I still visit the site if I find it… Read more »
WOW, I thought GMP ate stereotypes for breakfast around here.
I guess they eat it for breakfast then CRAP IT OUT FOR LUNCH.
Come editors, please have a read of these articles before you post them on here.
I thought that conversation about shaming men was going to change something around here. I guess not
That was a vague response, JATC.
What stereotypes are you referring to? Are you saying that cheating is OK? Are you saying that immaturity has higher value than we are giving it? What could be better than stating an important relationship value bluntly – especially when it calls on men who don’t have the balls to be accountable for their actions. I don’t see any blame/shame/guilt themes in this article at all. It’s never acceptable to cheat. Never. I want to forward this post to all the men I know and make them read it.
You actually don’t see that the tone and the language (real men used a dozen or more times) is part of the problem, do you?
The words “REAL MEN” is a sterotype as though someone who cheats isn’t a real man, he might not be a very nice man but he is still a real man with real feelings.
Is cheating OK, that is no YES or NO to this, there are times when cheating is OK< when your partnet has cut you off from intimacy and that won't change.
The Entire article is BLAME and SHAME.
Cheating is never OK. If your partner cuts you off, then you breakup or divorce, negotiate an open relationship, or declare that you will be seeking resolution of your needs elsewhere. But cheating behind someone’s back is never OK.
Amen, Josh.
INTEGRITY. You get it.