Have you ever felt like you are the only one who possesses feelings in the relationship?
That your partner is inhumanly senseless?
Have you witnessed that they do have feelings only when they want to show them and when they have something to gain?
If you answered yes to most of these questions then chances are your significant other is a narcissist. Now as the subtitle showcases, they are not monsters, but it is so serious that you might want to reconsider your relationship in hopes to save your mental health.
One thing that is very dangerous about narcissism is that those people who suffer from this condition are not even aware of it. For them, their self-worth is so high that nothing terrible is related to their existence.
If someone claims otherwise, that person is evil and they might even want to take revenge on them.
Here are the signs that will shed a light on your unanswered questions.
***
Lack of empathy
One can easily detect the absence of empathy in a person in many ways. For example, when there is a fight between people where every side has its own reasons.
After the fight, one partner might take a chance to understand their partner’s opinion and feelings while the other one has already moved on and did not even try to understand them.
Why? Because they don’t know how to do it; how to accept the possibility of them being wrong and their partner’s being right.
***
They are right. They are always right.
This one links to the lack of empathy. In fact, their opinions are so one-sided, they don’t leave space for the possibility of being wrong at all. One cannot judge their decisions, one cannot guide them, one cannot talk about their mistakes because they think they don’t have any.
Even if you try to serve all the proofs and evidence and even screenshots, they will come out so right that you will hate yourself for doing this.
The best way to deal with this kind of behavior is to leave it all alone if you want to protect your peace.
***
No apology even everything is clear.
So you showed them those screenshots but how did they react? They did not maybe.
Maybe they left you on seen or rolled their eyes and called you crazy?
Maybe they denied something as obvious as the white of the milk?
But in the end, you feel like crap. They somehow managed to make you feel like a mad person who is trying to do something that does not make sense.
For them, everything that threatens their ego is useless, even though sometimes they themselves threaten their partner’s ego.
When you are wrong, they might come up with all the proofs to declare your loss and call themselves the winner and be really proud of themselves.
Then they might ignore you all along. Especially if you try to explain the past experiences of you doing the same thing.
***
No respect for boundaries
Even after stating them clearly.
They need that acceptance, attention, completion from you and they won’t stop you until you give to the last bits of them and then some more. If you stop talking, they will see themselves rightful to come back anytime they want, once you remind them of your boundaries, they will ignore you again, if not belittle you.
***
Their opinions matter most
Because they think they know better than anyone, they don’t bother to take other’s opinions into consideration.
For them, it is a kind of a waste of time. They might even humiliate someone just because they think differently than them. Others’ opinions are always flawed and theirs are perfect — this describes their motto best.
***
Not willing to have an emotional discussion
No resistance to feelings in general. They avoid talking about feelings as much as possible, if not always. They hate being influenced by something outside of themselves and feel bad for it.
Even if you ask a bunch of questions with good intentions, they won’t open up and tell how they are really feeling. They might change the topic or even humiliate you as they might not see you as someone who they can talk to, in fact, all they want is to get the attention.
***
They create drama and blame you for that
Especially when you try to show how things actually are. Who might have mistakes, who might be wrong? Then they explode. Maybe they call you names, swear, state some things you have done in the past that have nothing to do with the topic, and trying to make themselves seem like they won the argument.
You might be surprised after you write such a long paragraph and all you get is nothing. After some time, they might text you and ask you if you are done with the drama that they themselves created, acting like you are the one that makes the relationship halt.
***
Never being enough
Do you catch a bird with your mouth? Or maybe you might have caught a couple of birds with your mouth. Nevertheless, you can’t get a “thank you” for that. You were never appreciated for all your efforts. In fact, all you got was “why not more?” or “is it all you can do?” or, worse, just nothing.
It happens to a point that you think you will go mental. What kind of person would not care or react to such sacrifice you did? What kind of person neglect you in this point of conversation and then act like nothing ever happened.
Well, a narcissist does. A lot.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.