Love should be the only sensation you feel that is pain-free among all the others, right? Regrettably, it is not. Love is part of the complex emotional and intellectual web that is a romantic relationship. And the way that relationship plays out can be the cause of broken hearts.
There are several causes for this discomfort:
1. No one can live up to your unrealistic standards of perfection.
At the beginning of a relationship, the passion takes precedence over love.
Additionally, desire makes you blind to your new partner’s flaws. But as soon as the lust wears off, you are forced to face the harsh truths about this new person in your life.
You fell in love with the ideal spouse you had in mind, only to be let down when your partner fell short of your expectations.
2. Acceptance is challenging.
You realize that you will need to put up with your new partner’s numerous shortcomings once you are no longer wearing the rose-colored glasses of lust and can see things more clearly.
But acceptance is not always simple.
You might disagree with your partner’s flaws and try to fix them.
You might strive to alter the other person so that they more closely match the ideal you had in mind.
When you initially started to lust after your mate, you can find them annoying in ways you never would have anticipated.
3. Love illuminates all that is flawed.
Love in complete solitude is ideal.
You undoubtedly occasionally have these blissful moments.
Though it’s uncommon to be able to separate love from everything else, as was already established. In reality, you often become aware of everything imperfect because of those ideal blissful moments.
As you seek to create a life with someone else, love highlights your flaws. All the aspects of your life that you might not be content with are brought to light by love.
You suddenly become aware of how impatient or stubborn you can be. Or perhaps you realize that your current way of life is not consistent with who you truly are.
4. You wonder if this individual is the correct one for you.
You can injure each other, how can this person be the one for you?
These kinds of thoughts hurt.
As you struggle against them, they draw you in all directions and tear you apart. Doubt stings because you worry that you could be compromising on what you deserve or want.
These nagging thoughts pop into your head every time your partner does anything that you don’t like. Or you might continuously be preoccupied with your partner’s suitability. Your inner serenity is taken away, and greater suffering results.
5. You worry about how your relationship will evolve.
What do you and your partner plan? Will it live up to your hopes and expectations? Will the connection be lasting?
You could fret and worry about the future because you can never know the answers to these concerns and have an average mentality that tends to focus on the negative. If so, you may be very anxious. Perhaps you are concerned that your lover will grow distant from you.
6. You bring old hurts into your present relationship.
It’s simple to bring your prior hurt into a new relationship, whether it was by a romantic partner or another close family member, like a parent.
You might blame your lover for your pain.
They are not to blame for this sorrow; rather, you and your past are to blame.
Even though you may understand this from a logical standpoint, you find it difficult to avoid letting it influence how you feel and behave toward them.
Because of a betrayal you experienced previously, you could distrust them.
Because a significant person in your history abandoned you, you could assume that they will do the same to you.
7. Love can be too much to handle.
Finding someone to love and spend their life with is a crucial component of life for the majority of people.
However, love and all of its repercussions may occasionally be too much for you to handle.
Your mind may become so overburdened by it that it hurts just to think about it.
You could feel the desire to distance yourself from your partner and get some fresh air.
8. You may cause your partner harm.
You may hurt the person you love, even unintentionally. You’ll say or do things that offend them, whether on purpose or not. When you cause someone pain, that pain comes back to haunt you.
Because you’ve been told that love should be able to overcome any obstacles, you feel as though you shouldn’t be able to bring them such suffering.
However, love is not able to control the stream of emotion forever.
The inevitable conflicts that arise when two people build a bond will eventually come to light. Not only do you feel attacked during this conflict, but you also become aware that you are capable of hurting the person you care about.
9. It hurts to change.
Many things alter because of love.
Not just the aforementioned changes within yourself, but also concrete adjustments to your life in general.
Your life can be completely upended by new partnerships.
You start spending a lot of time and emotional energy on a new individual.
Other connections may suffer.
Things in your life that you used to be able to focus on are no longer as important.
It might be frightening to witness your life and yourself change. It may result in conflicting emotions.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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