Growing up, I remember watching movies that always had women as princesses and men as the knights in shining armor that came to save them.
Movies show these perfect couples that ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
Life doesn’t really work like that.
It’s unrealistic.
And women don’t need to be saved by men
Or vice versa.
Relationships take work, especially healthy relationships.
Here are some of the things you can do to have the best relationship of your life now.
Let go of expectations.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” — William Shakespeare
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just ride off in the sunset with the perfect person?
Perfection is a myth. No one is perfect.
My suggestion would be to let go of any expectations of your partner being perfect. Also, just let go of expectations period. Let the relationship flow.
See what happens.
Don’t look at each other’s flaws. Or expect one another to change.
Accept people for who they are.
Focus on the good things.
Feed the good things, and only then can you have a peaceful relationship.
Put time and attention into your relationship.
Working late every day?
Making time for everything, but your relationship?
Think of a relationship like a plant. Plants can grow to be beautiful. But you have to water the plant for it to be healthy and thrive.
Relationships are the same.
If you don’t give attention to your relationship, it will die. Some sooner than others.
Don’t ignore your relationship and expect it to flourish.
It won’t.
Remember that you are equals in the relationship.
We are all a little selfish sometimes.
That’s perfectly normal and okay, as long as you aren’t selfish all of the time.
If you are only concerned with your own needs, your partner will grow resentful over time.
Everyone deserves to know that their partner loves and values them enough to put them first — at least sometimes.
I know back in the day, men had some level of authority in relationships.
We aren’t back in the day anymore.
Your patriarchal tendencies will not be tolerated or accepted in 2020.
Stop taking everything so seriously all the time.
Everyone loves to laugh.
Sometimes when relationships get stressful, we forget to laugh.
I suppose in the midst of an argument, it’s hard to remember not to take things serious.
But life is too short to always be so worried with serious things or who is right or wrong.
I promise you that the couples that laught together, usually stay together.
Practice empathy with one another.
Empathy is vital in relationships.
I can’t imagine that a relationship can be healthy or successful without the ability to see the other person’s point of view and show them that you value it.
It doesn’t mean you have to agree. Or that you can’t be different.
But everyone deserves to feel how they feel without being told they are wrong for feeling it.
In a healthy relationship, both people need to feel heard.
Support each other’s aspirations.
I like to write. I may not get very far in it, but my partner supports the time that I dedicate to it.
She also reads all of my work. And shares it with people.
My partner loves Crossfit. I support her in that and I try to participate in the events she goes to when I am able to.
Maybe you want to go back to school or open a restaurant. Regardless of what it is, you partner should support your hopes and dreams.
Even if you think the dream is silly, encourage them.
Be your partner’s rock.
Celebrate your bond.
Maybe have a date night?
Before the pandemic, my girlfriend and I would have date night every Tuesday.
If that’s not possible, carve out a date night once a month.
It could even be something as simple as going on a picnic once a month or taking a walk somewhere new together.
Take a Sunday drive just to get ice cream.
Anything that allows you to show each other that you are both still committed to the relationship.
Do little things for each other.
Do the dishes.
Rub their shoulders.
Vacuum.
Call just to tell them that you love them or were thinking about them.
Bring home some roses.
Sometimes its the little things that count the most in a relationship.
I know my girlfriend tells me all the time that she would rather me just do something like the dishes than buy her some expensive gift.
Provide value to each other’s lives.
Grow your friendship together.
Have you ever noticed people are usually very forgiving of their friends?
But those some people usually tend to hold grudges over something their significant other does.
I am not sure why that is.
Maybe because we don’t put the same expectations on our friends?
The best way to fix that is to build a solid foundation as friends, not just lovers.
Build your friendship together.
Relationships are hard.
They are even harder when we begin them expecting perfection.
It is important to let go of expectations and just let things happen the way they are supposed to.
Live in the moment.
Laugh with one another.
Love one another.
Give of yourself to one another.
“A relationship means you come together to make each other better. It’s not all about you, and it’s not all about them. It’s all about the relationship. Support them in their dreams/vision just as much as you would expect them to support you. Make each other better. Challenge each other to go beyond average. Pull out the greatness from within each other. Make sure they can find their biggest fan in you, and you can find yours in them. All you need is God and each other, forget what the world thinks.” — Trent Shelton
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Cody Black on Unsplash