A Man’s Worst Nightmare Happened To Him, Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt Suggests Another Point of View…
Question: May 7th, 2016 was supposed to have been the happiest day of my life as I was (yes – was) going to marry the love of my life, that is until she never came to the church. Yes – she! I was a guy left at the alter. Does that even happen?! I was embarrassed, mortified, and inconsolable (no real tears – just anger – I didn’t want to embarrass myself an further). How, why, what would possess someone to hurt someone else like that? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Why would someone who wanted to marry me care so little about me to hurt me so deeply.
Answer: Sweetness, I can’t imagine. I just can’t imagine. How embarrassing, disrespectful, horrific.. I get that once the tears start, they’re not going to stop for a while… probably wise to wait until you have someone capable, professional, wise, kind, unconditional loving, non judgmental and there for you to have your back through this process of healing.
I know you know this, yet the quality of our questions predicts the quality of our answers/solutions, yes? If we ask, What’s wrong with me? We tend to find it. If we ask, how can it get worse that this? The Universe listens and gives us just that… worse. You see the Universe is vibrational and responds to the very resonance of our question. So if you ask, what would possess someone to hurt someone like that? You’re most likely going to find insights into someone who is scared, unconscious, lacking courage etc. If you ask, Did I do something wrong? All you’re going to find are reasons to judge yourself.
HOWEVER we can ask different questions! And thus find your path to healing. How about…
Why would my soul choose such a growth opportunity?
What’s right about this I’m not seeing, that if I saw it, would allow me to let go of the past and move forward stronger than ever?
What is this trying to teach me, show me, awaken in me?
If I chose this as a life experience, what quality in me is required to emerge so that I am stronger, wiser and more alive than ever as I move forward?
What would it take for me to forgive her? forgive me? move on with grace?
If the Universe was on my side even now, what has this unfolded for my greatest good?
You may want to puke right about now that I’m all positive when you’re still justifiably angry… so be sure to take this step by step… sometimes a good punching bag is the first appropriate step to get the rage out… then next tends to be a good cry when you need someone unwavering like myself who can be with it all and never leave your side until you’re all cried out and ready to heal.
Given I’ve gone through my own version of hell, not like yours, but a situation that brought me to my knees, I am able to be there for you without trying to change you, honoring exactly how you feel. Given I’ve been able to walk through fires like this with clients for over 17 yrs, I can help you emerge stronger with a healed heart… able to never again let circumstances take you down. Sure they may take you off center for a moment, but the growth possible by getting through this will allow you to Be A Noble Badass poster child 😉 Contact me love. www.AllanaPratt.com/connect for a complementary strategy session. You are not weak but courageous and smart to get support to heal this now… no sense this closing your heart forever, not when you can use this as a catalyst to be your best self. I’m here. Huge love, Allana xoox
p.s. and a good read tonight would be my complementary report for men found at www.GetHerToSayYes.com. Hang in there. Know you are cared for, huge blessings, Allana xoxo
Hi Allana, Where do you find a guy that has been healed? That has a bad ass
nobel honoring of women. A guy who gets it. Chivalrous. Inspiring laughter and joy.
I love your nature. Your column gives us strength to be vulnerable and open hearted. Thank you Sallie