Dateline, Washington DC.
In what many are considering a routine, almost daily threat of childish behavior the United States government is promising to use all of its mighty legislative power to stop working.
“If we don’t get our way we won’t do anything at all,” most of the elected officials inside the beltway are quoted as saying. “And, if that doesn’t work we will not eat our vegetables, ever, ever again! That will show them.” Many members of Congress have threatened to run away, possibly to live with “Grandma.”
There are unsubstantiated rumors that many elected officials will “hold their breath, and turn blue.” They have sent letters to all of the constituents asking “How would you like that, huh? Hold our breath until we turn blue!”
Amid reports of hair pulling, jumping up and down, laying on the floor of the house screaming, pounding, and kicking, there is little sign of compromise or any decent, civilized, adult behavior at all.
One knowledgeable expert has concluded that “maybe they just need a nap, and are a little cranky, you know how that can affect elected officials. If we can just get them in a car and drive them around for a while they will be fine. Maybe, if they are good we can get them some ice cream, and take them to the park.”
A patient nation waits, worried that they are not doing a good job, raising their government.
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Originally published on Life, Explained
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