I feel like a man when I stand up to urinate. There I said it.
I am not saying that I look down on any man who prefers to sit down. I have encountered few such individuals. In college, I discovered that a very good friend of mine always chose to sit down when the opportunity was there. There was nothing effeminate about my friend. I couldn’t help but ask for an explanation.
The story went that his mother had advised him as a child that remaining seated could greatly reduce the risk of messes. This is not a complicated story. It was just about my very intelligent friend taking some very practical advice. The extra energy involved in sitting down is worth the investment in risk management.
My friend had no interest in converting me. I had no interest in pondering the matter. That was over 45 years ago. To this day, I remain a stand up guy. I plan on fighting as long as I can to continue to be so.
I think I stood up to pee before I developed the ability to stand up. No, that is probably an exaggeration. I don’t recall any “this is how it is done moments” with my father. I don’t remember any learning by example or figuring things out on my own. What I did just came naturally. I think it does for most men.
I have experienced great relief and pleasure from peeing. I have suffered due to momentary distractions that affected my aim. I have hurt the one I love most again and again, but I can’t break the habit.
My aim normally is true, but there have and continue to be exceptions. I have mastered the prevention of my wife sitting on a wet spot. What kind of a man would I be if I did not?
I don’t totally buy into the theory that if I truly loved my wife as much as I say I do, I would never leave any yellow on the shared toilet rim. The seat yes, but not the rim, too.
I can’t however argue that sitting down would not be a loving act.
I would stand up and take a bullet to protect my wife, but I will not sit down.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I am more careful when standing up to pee in a public lavatory stall than I am at home. What kind of dude leaves a mess for his fellow man? I am not to happy about creating the need to wipe up anything in public lavatories. I have squirmed and held it in, waiting for a urinal to become available, when stalls were open.
I think some of my stand up habit is due to having multiple positive experiences doing it. As a former addictions counselor, I know that anything that can bring immediate relief to built up tension and anxiety can become addictive. I have often found myself in situations were rapid access to my male means of liquid waste disposal has gotten me out of jams.
I am well aware that a big part of my freedom to pee free, is my low risk for sexual assault. I wish I was better at doing more to stand up against rape culture, I wish every man was.
I believe that there is a male bonding aspect to my habit as well.
I haven’t thought about it until right now, but being in the presence of other men going from very uptight to relaxed has moved me.
I remember riding the train to my first New York City Marathon. It was very early in the day and the majority of the people on the train were headed to the same place I was. We were all hydrating ourselves before the big run. The wait to get into the limited facilities on the train was long. I knew I could hold it until I got to Grand Central Station. What I didn’t know was, that in those days, all of the public facilities in the Station were locked during the hours way prior to and a good deal after my arrival. In those days it was considered a strategy to reduce that which goes on in public rest rooms that shouldn’t.
I ran from the station out into the City that never sleeps, only to find that the urban planners had forgotten that urine never sleeps. I felt like a criminal desecrating beautiful Bryant Park, but I had run out of options.
I never imagined the glorious experience that the NYC Marathon had in store for me, but there it was. A comfort station beyond my imagination. It was more than a man could wish for. It was simple in its design. It was grand in its function. It was built on the cheap to provide a rich experience. Boards shaped in a “V” directed water from a hose to form a urinal that seemed to be half a city block long. I had never been in the presence of so many relieved men. I was not very good at running and preparing for a marathon was a lot of work, but when I completed my first NYC Marathon, I couldn’t wait to start training for another one.
While most marathoners dream of the moment they will cross the finish line and relief from exhaustion, I pictured a different line and a different form of relief, with no waiting.
Now, I shall go from whimsical to practical and gross. If you are not a senior man or are not in a serious mood, stop reading right here.
If you are still reading and feel the need to urinate please take care of that next. Then read some more if you wish.
As I aged somethings happened that made it much more difficult to get me to my peeing spot on time. I found the standing several times a night, not as enjoyable as sleeping. My urologist’s response was, “Welcome to the men-over-60 club.” Not the answer I wanted to hear.
This was a threat to my manhood. I was not ready to take this sitting down.
Now, problems peeing is a serious matter, with many possible causes. If you are having a problem, don’t be the guy who goes to see the doctor only when they can’t take the pain anymore. Whether you’ve got something easy or are going to get some real bad news, it’s best to get either sooner, rather than later. If you can face your fear or anxiety about going to the doctor you can only win. You may get reassurance, you may get an earlier diagnosis, which could lead to more effective treatment. Even if you have been putting this off for years, don’t wait any longer.
Also invest some time educating yourself. Don’t forget to educate yourself about Kegel exercises, too.
If you are female and don’t know about Kegels, you could be in for a real treat.
If you are a man do not under estimate the benefits of this move.
This exercise is simple, free, no equipment used, do it anywhere; nobody can tell you are doing it. It can be learned immediately and you won’t break a sweat. If you are hoping that people are going to be checking out the body-beautiful result of you doing this exercise, that is not going to happen.
No, I’m not going to tell you anymore. If you aren’t curious enough to do your own research on the Kegel then you’ve got laziness in addition to your other problems. I’m not even going to give you a link. You shouldn’t pay much attention to what some random guy like me has to say. If I’ve gotten you curious, though, go check out Kegel Exercises for yourself or for someone you care about.
I will give this review. I am still standing and rarely need to do so when I’d rather be sleeping thanks to Dr. Arnold Kegel and the exercise he made famous. Why didn’t they tell me about this in elementary school gym class?
I know that the day may come when I’ll need to sit down, but I want to stay active in delaying that day from coming. As for today. I’m still standing. I am still enjoying it like a man.
If you liked this article keep coming back to goodmenproject.com. Article number two on this subject is going to be about, well, men and going number two. You will be able to take this one sitting down and can you say Squatty Potty?
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